“And all I can do is just pour some tea for two,
And speak my point of view,
But it’s not sane…”
I’ve spouted a lot of freaky views online over the years. Before you go, “Hey Reverend, it’s the choir, move on with your sermon,” let me take this a little further.
Yesterday I finished a week-long project cataloguing my old entries from “The World According to Gap,” my first blog that wasn’t instantly eaten by cyberspace (as was the fate of my first entry, whose name I subsequently forgot, though it was some play on “Rhymes with orange”).
I belatedly discovered the old site had frozen up on me over the summer. Since then, every so often I’d try to put it through the paces and exorcise it, but it remained unresponsive. I’ve attacked the issue from multiple directions and made no headway. There was only one thing left to do.
If you haven’t already bumped past the archives button and found it now stretches back to 2002 (or if you wondered why a post or two briefly appeared and disappeared as quickly, taking their aged or broken links with them), you’ll know that I’ve reposted all the old World According to Gap entries under this domain. And even if you hadn’t, by this point in the paragraph, you’re caught up as well.
I’m not sure whether to call this is a recitation or an archeological expedition. Everything was put back in. Break ups, meltdowns, zombies. Good times, bad times, and the many degrees in between. There are some real happy memories chronicled here. There are some that still make me wince. Most make me smile, for one reason or another.
I’ve reposted everything with limited editing. Some awkward wordings or spelling and grammar errors were too irritating to let be (“It’s ‘3 a.m.’ not ‘3 AM,’ pre-2002 Me!”), though the majority remains as originally typed. There may be a few mistakes in the chronology, for though I kept policing and comparing time stamps to ensure the dates were identical, I’m sure there are a few mixed up entries). If you see any wayward, sheep making time warped references, let me know.
Going through back entries was like reading an old journal (though easier, since the printing was easier to decipher). I recalled a lot of good stories I’d forgotten about including wagering on weathermen predictions, meeting Hulkamania and 80s girl, and helping deliver a gross of pink plastic flamingos. I also realized that I’ve conned a lot of drunks over the years. Typically, it was to help them choose better (or at least less temporarily destructive) behavior, though convincing a drunk to dress and act like a hobo at an all-night cancer fundraiser wasn’t one of my best uses of peer pressure.
There is some comfort in seeing how my writing has progressed. I rarely end posts with “bye-bye.” I feel my posts have gotten better, or at the least longer, which almost works. Also, due to my current record streak of posting, there are less updates that apologize for the lack of updates (a common but regrettable feature in many blogs.
That is not to say I found nothing but gems. I won’t lie and say I’m proud of every post. Some are downright deplorable in concept, outline, and execution. I’m blaming that on my near constant state of sleep deprivation and the rampant availability of shiny distractions (movies, video games, costumes made out of bubble wrap).
Also, in addition to polishing old entries, there were some added portions. Some lost posts were included, old drafts that weren’t quite completed or were put on hold due to technical difficulties. You can find the two different previously unpublished epilogues to The World According to Gap. In a few cases, you might find occasional added information in the form of Notes from 2005. They might give background information or wrap up a loose end not covered or simply state was a long-deleted link used to show (in cases when I could still recall such details).
All in all, it makes me wish I’d written more. There are lots of gaps, stories alluded to but never finished (and if you go back and a see a “MORE TO COME” ender, you know such promises were unfulfilled). Some stories were unpublished due to confidentially concerns (thanks to legal Residential Life issues or personal, private concerns). Too often, however, I just simply didn’t take the time. I still carry many of those stories with me, but this isn’t the place to tell them.
Most blogs die quick, silent deaths a few weeks or days after they’re started. The fact that I’m still going after all these years gives me a sense of achievement and hope for the future.
I know most of the following links will go un-clicked, but after revisiting all of the entries, I thought I’d put out a representative collection of my WAG years.
Here we start with the two different origin posts.
Here is where I state the context behind the chosen title of the blog, and start hoping that John Irving’s lawyer never notices me.
The holidays give me a brief opportunity to think about the past and the future.
Ancient and modern martyrs are discussed in this late Valentine’s Day post and short postscript.
After much serious contemplating and soul-searching, I conduct a simply survey to gauge students’ reactions to the start of war.
In this entry, I explain how I sacrificed my Spring Break to the local paper and inadvertently ended up in a situation that reeked of poorly scripted sitcom antics.
After spending countless miles exploring the back roads of Missouri, I offer a simple guide to the Ozarks.
Over the course of two different days, I offer quotes from the horrendous Marching Mizzou football trip to KU. A slew of car accidents, mental-reversions, and near-riots ensue.
In this mid-semester notebook dump, I justify poor academic choices concerning my 16th/17th Century English literature class by arguing my teacher has previously committed serious scholarly oversights and that I was simply following her lead.
MU goes to the Independence Bowl in Shreveport, Louisiana. The trip is recounted primarily through quotes.
The city of Columbia spent lot of money on an idiotic motto. The short-lived satire page at the Missourian asked for alternatives. I responded.
I expose myself to additional public ridicule when I write a personal essay published in a local magazine detailing my hit and run accident and the aftermath. The article and the process I went through to get it published are reprinted here.
In one of my more serious posts, I look at both Abu Ghraib and Hussein family habits and ask what is torture?
Want a portrait of the artist as a raving lunatic? Read my personal rules of conduct.
On a particularly frustratingly slow day, I write a open letter to writer’s block.
Coming in on the home stretch, I start contemplating graduation and beyond.
In my last general post, I expand an essay detailing life growing up in a small Missouri town.
Since the day when I finally deciphered all my notes and committed them to the screen, my favorite post became and remains the quote log from the MU Women’s Basketball Pep Band Spring Break Trip to Arizona. Never has being stranded in the desert for indeterminate amount of time been so much fun. I relive the trip every time I read it.
If you haven’t jumped ship already, one final note: A comment feature was introduced to WAG on March 9, 2003. I tried to customize each “Say_Something” comment line to act as a final concluding thought to each post. The British company offering the free service seems to have gone under since then, however, and the links no longer work. Nevertheless, though the comments are lost, the accompanying hypertext has been cannibalized to show what the final comments were.
said...
Yes. I did. I deleted your post as well.
Caleb Michael said...
Ah...
My friend Cory is referring to a comment I left on his website questioning whether or not he was the author of a certain joke or if he stole it from someone else.
And here we have a prime example of passive-agressive behavior.