Music: “Wildflowers” by Tom Petty

I wrote a lot this weekend, but only so much for public view... as in, only this.

Number of months estimated before getting my own computer -- One

Number of months I've been saying, "I'll get my computer in a month" -- Five.

Anyway, enjoy the quiz.


>>


Catarina was Henry's first wife and was probably the only one of his six wives to truly love him. He tired of her, and she spent the last decade of her life in lonely exile. Yet when she was dying, alone and unloved, she wrote: "Lastly, I make this vow, that mine eyes desire thee above all things. Farewell."


Which of Henry VIII's wives are you?




this quiz was made by Lori Fury

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Music: “Superstition” by Stevie Wonder

Sorry this was delayed. Blogger was having issues all day long so this had to wait until my dinner break. Tomorrow I plan to venture out more than just transcribing old comments. So, for some of you this should be a treat, and for others, you'll want to wait until later when the next quote log.

Changes in the air:
“So what are they doing?”
“Computers have come to advertising.”
“Is this a good thing?”
“Well, if you consult the prophecy, the outlook isn’t good.”

Suggesting a last minute alteration to the rainy, dismal forecast in the front page weather box:
“You guys keep getting the weather wrong. It’s supposed to be in the 80s and 90s.”
“If it was only as easy as typing some numbers, I’d do so in a heartbeat.”

After a trying day:
“I need to be drinking something stronger than Kool-Aid.”
“Like Jolt Cola?”
There’s a long stare.
“Jolt Cola is stronger than Kool-Aid.”
“Yes, yes it is.”

When performing rescue breathing on a dog:
“With humans, you have that one-way plastic thing. ‘Quick! Get the Chihuahua-sized breathing unit.’ ‘Dang it! All we have are Rottweiler-sized ones.’”

Coming back from covering an awards event and collecting some plaques on behalf of the paper, a reporter divvies up the spoils to the people still at the paper after 10:
“Which one do you want? The silver one, this one or this one? We’ll probably have to give them back.”
“When it’s noticed we have them.”

On picking background images for a colleague’s computer:
"I don’t think he’s wearing enough in this picture.”
“That’s way too much Fabio.”
“I bet you never thought you’d say that.”
...
“That’s a softer-core Fabio.”

Later, on having a Fabio picture on his public desktop:
“I have enough trouble meeting women in Rock Springs without that factor.”

“Stop writing about my wife.”`
“You don’t have a wife.”
“All the more reason not to write about her.”

Bringing back goodies from the fish and game department:
“I got magnets. Would you think of yourself more as a Razorback Sucker or a Humpback Chub?”
“Chub.”
“Did they only pick fish with insulting names?”

“Why do I keep sneezing? Maybe I’m allergic to something. Maybe to you.”
“You can’t be allergic to me.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m hypo-allergenic.”

On a letter accusing the paper of working in conjunction with a local business to keep things quiet:
“‘The Rocket is in the pocket of the hospital.’ Apparently, the hospital is paying our checks.”
“We’re in the pocket of the hospital?”
“Cool.”
“I don’t know about you, but I’m going to ask for more money.”
...
“Are we getting paid off, and if we are, I want to know why I’m not getting paid off. I want my cut.”
“I want a pay raise or at least better health coverage.”
...
“The problem is ‘rocket’ rhymes with ‘pocket.’”
“We do open ourselves up to that.”
“We need to change our name to the Rock Springs Orange. That would stop the juvenile jokes.”

“What does a Wyoming Toad look like?”
“It’s actually shaped like Wyoming, a little square.”

If this next entry seems especially dated in the summer, that’s because it’s from March 29, which is technically still winter in Wyoming:
“See if you can get pictures of people fishing, kids playing dangerously on the ice.”
“If you pay them $5 to play on the ice, don’t put that in the cutline.”
“Don’t do that.”
“If they fall in, take a picture, then rescue them.”
“Give me $5 and I’ll pull you out.”

“Today is a good day for flipping out.”
“Hey, hey! Get your story in first.”

Status symbols:
“I have a trash can. I’m an adult now.”

On working with children:
“I haven’t spent a lot of time with six-year-olds since I was six.”
“I get that.”
“What? Did you turn seven and were too cool for six-year-olds?”

On the wire story, “Oxygen-starved fish looking for ladies” –
“‘Male Zebrafish outnumber females 3-1 in ocean dead zones.’”
“Now I don’t feel so bad, because wherever I go, I’m pretty set on oxygen.”

Beating the obstinate printer to teach it a lesson:
“Wow, Caleb.”
“If it didn’t act temperamental, I wouldn’t have to act temperamental. And I realize I’m blaming my actions on an inanimate object...”

Talking survival skills:
“He would totally be the first person eaten.”
“I can’t believe we’ve had this many serious conversations on cannibalism.”
“It’s been more than a few.”

“This is Andy’s caption, ‘Melting snow caused the water levels at the Green River to rise Wednesday.”
A hand is held up to indicate that is not all.
“‘More weather is predicted for the weekend.’”
“Well, that would be accurate.”

On how hallucinogenics would make council meetings more fun to cover:
“Isn't this the best meeting ever, Mr. Unicorn?”

We all deal with equipment troubles in our own way:
“While you’re doing technical stuff, I’m going to do something more productive, like get a sample of hair and make a voodoo doll.”

On the really old-fashioned approach:
“What did you do before you had an office nerd?”
“Sacrificed more goats?”
“Sacrificed extra goats.”

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Okay, the quick version.

I’ve been out… of it for a little while.

There have been some major life changes and appointments that I made and kept.

Some of these times of transition were interspaced with time taken off to recover and plain laziness.

While I’ll admit I haven’t shaken off all the laziness – it’s hard to find time to post when private computer access is hard to find – I have a newly established routine and am planning on working more blogging into it.

For the short run, here are the goals:

Because it is popular and I am behind, I plan on putting up “From the Notebook” entries at least twice a week. I’m stranded in late March and wouldn’t mind them being a bit more current.”

Next, I took lots of notes during my travels the last few weeks. I’d like to get out some impressions on the graduation, the wedding, and flying on 11 planes in the course of a week and a half (and how I keep finding baggage claim tickets about my person).

Also, if I can work up enough polish, I’d like to introduce a new entry called works in progress when I share a chapter or a section of a story I’m working on.

And if time permits, I’d like to share more general posts about observations, ideas, and other miscellaneous madness.

As always, I have been making lots of notes. I feel more exciting about writing after taking a break, so I shouldn’t be burning out anytime soon. Of course, time will tell if I can follow through on these pledges.

That’s it for now. Look for more stuff tomorrow.

(It should actually be there, this time)

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Music: “We are Monkeys” by Travis

“Many think they're brainy, but they haven't a clue.
And I think I'm clever ‘cos I'm singing this to you.”

Content now. Explanation later.

“Any photo ideas?”
“The wind’s blowing like a mad monkey.”
“So, take a picture of the wind?”
“How?”

On drug addicts and their habits:
“It says tweakers crave sweets.”
“I thought they didn’t eat.”
“Or do they only eat sugar?”
“Like who do we know like that…”
Everyone looks at the desk well-stocked with food and candy
“I know where this is going. Shut up. And for the record, I have Wheat Thins on my desk.”
“We all know you fill the boxes with sugar.”
A Wheat Thin is thrown at a reporter and subsequently eaten.

On hearing that the basement is flooding:
“How much? Do we need to build an ark? How long is a cubit?”

“Got a problem? Got something to say?”
“I think my face has already said all I have to say. In fact, my face almost exclusively says all I have to say.”
“Unless you’re going to start sign language.”

On the police blotter:
“Drunk driver, drunk pedestrian. You can’t win. Drunk rickshaw…”

Editorializing on a artist’s downplaying of her educational background:
“I wasn’t smart enough to ‘graduate’ because I wasn’t smart enough to ‘apply.’”
“‘Educational flaws can be overcome with a strong composition.’” As in, I didn’t get a degree, but I think my stuff looks good.”

After experts examine a long-suffering computer:
“You all have perplexed some of the biggest computer geeks I’ve met.”
“Cool.”

“The pirate radio is disappointing.”
“Yeah. It’s not about radio for pirates. There would be more sea chanteys, talk about where to find the best grog.”
“A lot of thinly veiled ‘booty’ references.”

“Statistics are failing. Math, you vile mistress.”

A common lecture:
“See what you did? I told you to use your power for good, not evil.”
“But it’s so hard. It’s weird, but in the long run it’s more enjoyable.”
Later…
“You know how I told you to use your power for good and not evil? I changed my mind.”
“Sweet! Evil it is.”

On a meal of Easy Mac:
“You dinner reminds me of sea monkeys.”
There is a pause while people stare
“Mix Packet 1 and Packet 2 and add water.”

It seems not everyone loves circus peanuts and Neco Wafers:
“I’m going to write a letter to your mother telling her she has horrible taste in candy.”

Envying this easy life of a local entrepreneur/hack:
“I could be a great pet psychic.”
“Your sarcasm would totally get in the way.”
“You’re right.”
“Your kitty says I’m not paid enough.”
“Your cat says you’re gullible.”

“California is slipping into the ocean.”
“I’m rooting for the ocean.”

On exercise:
“Maybe it would be nice not to get heart disease when I’m 50. Naah….”

When the network is down:
“Time to employ investigative skills. Internet, you have failed me. I must employ different methods.”
“Like speaking to people.”

“There are more important things than money.”
“Like the things you buy with money.”
“I’ll take greed any day.”

After a Medicaid question temporarily leaves two reporters and an editor temporarily stumped:
“Rock, paper, scissors?”
“We are not resolving facts with rock, paper, scissors!”

After a guy criticizes the city council:
“Was he wearing a funny hat?”
“No.”
“If I ever made fun of the council, I’d dress up. I’d wear, like, a sombrero and a super hero cape. ‘You’re the biggest bunch of crazies I’ve ever seen.’”

After taking the rambunctious kids to a nice restaurant:
“So how’d the family dinner go?”
“Got my Tylenol. I’m good.”

Commenting on a story about a wild animal in New York:
“So how do you think a coyote got to Central Park?”
“Same old story: Country kid comes to the city. Naively gets mixed up with the wrong crowd.”
“Pretty soon he’s hanging out with the junkies and whores in Central Park.”

Discussing the company insurance policy:
“In case he has an accident, or in case he has an ‘accident’ going down the stairs.”
“Thanks for putting quotation marks around that.”
“I was implying that it wouldn’t really be an accident.”
“I get ‘finger quotations.’”
“Caleb is freaked out by finger quotes, or maybe we should say ‘freaked out’ by finger quotes.”

Criticizing writing:
“If Zac didn’t write like a crazed monkey…”
“Monkeys can’t write.”
“They can too. It just won’t be English… or probably any other human language."

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