Sorry this was delayed. Blogger was having issues all day long so this had to wait until my dinner break. Tomorrow I plan to venture out more than just transcribing old comments. So, for some of you this should be a treat, and for others, you'll want to wait until later when the next quote log.
Changes in the air:
“So what are they doing?”
“Computers have come to advertising.”
“Is this a good thing?”
“Well, if you consult the prophecy, the outlook isn’t good.”
Suggesting a last minute alteration to the rainy, dismal forecast in the front page weather box:
“You guys keep getting the weather wrong. It’s supposed to be in the 80s and 90s.”
“If it was only as easy as typing some numbers, I’d do so in a heartbeat.”
After a trying day:
“I need to be drinking something stronger than Kool-Aid.”
“Like Jolt Cola?”
There’s a long stare.
“Jolt Cola is stronger than Kool-Aid.”
“Yes, yes it is.”
When performing rescue breathing on a dog:
“With humans, you have that one-way plastic thing. ‘Quick! Get the Chihuahua-sized breathing unit.’ ‘Dang it! All we have are Rottweiler-sized ones.’”
Coming back from covering an awards event and collecting some plaques on behalf of the paper, a reporter divvies up the spoils to the people still at the paper after 10:
“Which one do you want? The silver one, this one or this one? We’ll probably have to give them back.”
“When it’s noticed we have them.”
On picking background images for a colleague’s computer:
"I don’t think he’s wearing enough in this picture.”
“That’s way too much Fabio.”
“I bet you never thought you’d say that.”
“That’s a softer-core Fabio.”
Later, on having a Fabio picture on his public desktop:
“I have enough trouble meeting women in Rock Springs without that factor.”
“Stop writing about my wife.”`
“You don’t have a wife.”
“All the more reason not to write about her.”
Bringing back goodies from the fish and game department:
“I got magnets. Would you think of yourself more as a Razorback Sucker or a Humpback Chub?”
“Chub.”
“Did they only pick fish with insulting names?”
“Why do I keep sneezing? Maybe I’m allergic to something. Maybe to you.”
“You can’t be allergic to me.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m hypo-allergenic.”
On a letter accusing the paper of working in conjunction with a local business to keep things quiet:
“‘The Rocket is in the pocket of the hospital.’ Apparently, the hospital is paying our checks.”
“We’re in the pocket of the hospital?”
“Cool.”
“I don’t know about you, but I’m going to ask for more money.”
“Are we getting paid off, and if we are, I want to know why I’m not getting paid off. I want my cut.”
“I want a pay raise or at least better health coverage.”
“The problem is ‘rocket’ rhymes with ‘pocket.’”
“We do open ourselves up to that.”
“We need to change our name to the Rock Springs Orange. That would stop the juvenile jokes.”
“What does a Wyoming Toad look like?”
“It’s actually shaped like Wyoming, a little square.”
If this next entry seems especially dated in the summer, that’s because it’s from March 29, which is technically still winter in Wyoming:
“See if you can get pictures of people fishing, kids playing dangerously on the ice.”
“If you pay them $5 to play on the ice, don’t put that in the cutline.”
“Don’t do that.”
“If they fall in, take a picture, then rescue them.”
“Give me $5 and I’ll pull you out.”
“Today is a good day for flipping out.”
“Hey, hey! Get your story in first.”
Status symbols:
“I have a trash can. I’m an adult now.”
On working with children:
“I haven’t spent a lot of time with six-year-olds since I was six.”
“I get that.”
“What? Did you turn seven and were too cool for six-year-olds?”
On the wire story, “Oxygen-starved fish looking for ladies” –
“‘Male Zebrafish outnumber females 3-1 in ocean dead zones.’”
“Now I don’t feel so bad, because wherever I go, I’m pretty set on oxygen.”
Beating the obstinate printer to teach it a lesson:
“Wow, Caleb.”
“If it didn’t act temperamental, I wouldn’t have to act temperamental. And I realize I’m blaming my actions on an inanimate object...”
Talking survival skills:
“He would totally be the first person eaten.”
“I can’t believe we’ve had this many serious conversations on cannibalism.”
“It’s been more than a few.”
“This is Andy’s caption, ‘Melting snow caused the water levels at the Green River to rise Wednesday.”
A hand is held up to indicate that is not all.
“‘More weather is predicted for the weekend.’”
“Well, that would be accurate.”
On how hallucinogenics would make council meetings more fun to cover:
“Isn't this the best meeting ever, Mr. Unicorn?”
We all deal with equipment troubles in our own way:
“While you’re doing technical stuff, I’m going to do something more productive, like get a sample of hair and make a voodoo doll.”
On the really old-fashioned approach:
“What did you do before you had an office nerd?”
“Sacrificed more goats?”
“Sacrificed extra goats.”
