A Flashback post: Both in timing and content.
I found f collection of quotes from my first few weeks in Wyoming that I thought would be worth sharing. This will only further prove the claim that I don’t keep up with the quotes well enough and that I’m poorly organized, but hey, I think this quotes are
interesting enough to weather such criticism.
Regular punch line about community complaints:
“It’s all because we stopped running Alley Oop.”
Publisher opening a staff meeting with an icebreaker:
“You’re all fired!”
Three phrases technically banned regarding the system overhaul (though they still seem to have survived, if not thrived in some corners):
- “The old system was better.”
- “We’ve always done it that way.”
- “That’s not my job.”
“I don’t have a drinking problem. The rest of the world has a sobriety problem.”
“If you say you’re sorry, but you keep laughing, it kinda loses its effect.”
Thirty minutes before press deadline:
“I always tell people you don’t want me editing on the page, because at that point all facts look unimportant. You don’t need that. Blah!”
On caffeine:
“I’m not really addicted, I just need some every day.”
“Isn’t that the definition of addiction?”
Political exercises:
“He’s running for treasurer in a quasi-roundabout way. He’s asking people for money and says, he’ll see what will happen.”
“I should do that.”
On the lack of noteworthy court cases:
“All our murderers have pleaded out lately – big babies…”
After several teenagers crash a county meeting to complete a civics assignment:
“Hanging out with high school students. I didn’t even like hanging out with them when I was in high school.”
On the number of recent business leader deaths:
“Two is a coincidence. Three is a conspiracy.”
On another African-based e-mail money scam:
“Has the IRS ever given you money?”
“It was… my money.”
“Did they ever give you any of their money?”
Carving space for the new guys:
“Are you making fun of my desk?”
“No, I’m making fun of your lack of desk.”
“Hey! It’s a time-share. You’ll get it this afternoon.”
After critiquing another paper’s reporting:
“You should not make fun of the mentally handicapped, Stephanie.”
On a reporter’s hatred of “Forest Gump” the movie:
“So anything that is innocent and pure you dislike?”
Upon viewing a very-low rent/maintenance apartment:
“My mother would cry if I lived there.”
Starting the routine of proofing a page:
“I was going to give it to your Padmé; you know, since he’s Luke and you’re Yoda.”
“Do you mean ‘padawan,’ because otherwise it would mean you were calling him a girl.”
“Wow, I’ve never been compared to Natalie Portman before.”
