Okay. The week got away from me. I’ve had many people tell me not to get discouraged about not posting as regularly as I had become used to. Individuals ranging from the newspaper publisher to my parents to other blogging friends have told me to cut myself some slack.
The conversations often conclude the same way --
Me: “I just feel bad because I had a two-and-a-half month streak going.”
FILL_IN_BLANK: “But did you have a job?”
Me: “Well… technically… no.”
FILL_IN_BLANK: “Well there you go.”
Anyway, I type all this to say I’m going to try to stop feeling guilty about something that a majority of people say isn’t actually a crime. I’m still going to push myself to post more, but other than that there’s only so much I can do without a personal computer.
As an act of apparently unnecessary restitution, let me share another batch from my personal quote logs. I seem to be collecting so many I believe this may become a weekly feature of this website, though only time will tell.
As always, no one is specifically identified by name, though context clues may finger some speakers more easily than others. Let me get out of the way so the others voices can be heard now.
Correcting a page proof gets sticky:
“I didn’t realize White Out was so hard to get off your fingers.”
“Why are you putting it on your fingers.”
Half of a phone conversation after one sickly reporter coughed on a phone receiver of a mocking, healthy reporter to infect it before cleaning it off with a moist towelette:
“My phone smells like vodka … No, I like it.”
“It’s not a gas station you monkey potato.”
“For the record, a monkey potato would be a very frightening thing.”
“It’d be a mo-pho!”
Name Game Curses:
“Chuck, Chuck, Bo, Buck… I’m going to name my kid Chuck.”
“You’re purposely premeditating to mess your kid up in the Name Game?”
- A little while later someone else joins the conversation in progress:
“Why would you name your kid Fitch?”
“To screw them over in the Name Game.”
“If you can’t have fun at work, then you shouldn’t go to work.”
“I’m sure brain surgeons say the same thing.”
“I’m so glad it’s Friday, because if it was Monday I wouldn’t be coming back the next day.”
“Yeah right. You’re the person who felt so guilty when you were out [sick].”
“I’m not guilty anymore.”
Trouble with the Associated Press wire leads to several tech calls:
“When I’ve annoyed people on both sea fronts, I consider that a good day.”
On men changing their last names when they get married:
“I think it would depend on the amount of money.”
“You know, I could be a Kennedy.”
“I would have no problem being Justin Kennedy. … Everyone has a price; I’m just more realistic about mine.”
Imagining a dismal life without internet or TV:
“My cat doesn’t play card games well.”
“Yeah, she’s always hitting on 20.”
“No, you fool!”
“You’d think that because we’re all journalism majors, we’d be able to communicate better. Am I wrong in thinking that?”
Overheard on the police scanner:
“I’m on the phone with a claustrophobic person who wants to know how long the [Green River] tunnels are.”
“There’s a loaded question.”
On the innate evilness of horses:
“Who wears metal shoes – only those up to no good.”
“Back to back – council workshop and chamber meeting.”
“Double your fun!”
“If you’re a sadist.”
“If you’re a journalist, isn’t that the same thing?”
“Well… it’s a fine line.”
On my co-workers discovering my site and putting my name through a search engine:
“Didn’t you know we Googled you? We Googled everyone before they came here.”
A final note on bookmarking:
“Would you like to be ‘Work Profile 1’ or ‘Hardcore pornography’?”
“Well, since you gave me a choice…”
In conclusion, I wish you all many happy returns to “Work Profile 1.” Have a nice weekend.
