I only want to say it once, so I would respectfully ask you to listen.
I’m pretty sure you’re out there, silently watching. Please read the whole entry and think about the topics I’ve put before you. If you’re going, “Huh?” this post isn’t direct at you, but you are welcome to read it through to know what’s going on in my life lately and what to pray about.
And here we go…
slander
\Slan"der\, noun. [origins: Old English: sclandere, Old French: esclandre, esclandle, escandre, French: esclandre, Latin: scandalum, Germanic: a snare, stumbling block, offense, scandal; probably originally, the spring of a trap.
1. A false tale or report maliciously uttered, tending to injure the reputation of another; the malicious utterance of defamatory reports; the dissemination of malicious tales or suggestions to the injury of another.
Example: [We] make the careful magistrate The mark of slander. – Ben Jonson.
2. Legal definition: Oral communication of false statements injurious to a person's reputation.
Example: He sued his former employer for slander.
I’ve known that definition for a long time.
I first learned it back in middle school when I’d tear through a couple “Solve-a-mystery” collections of two-minute capers. I remember one case where a judge was found dead of a gunshot in locked chambers. The major clue at the scene, besides the body, was an apparent suicide note. The investigator, who was the star of the book – and was vastly underpaid due to the large number of cases he solved in such a short amount of time – found some curious items in the “farewell.” The rationale given for, as the M*A*S*H* theme puts it, to lay it down before I’m beat, was rumors in the courtroom. The judge specifically referred to the vicious libel that was whispered through the halls of justice.
The investigator, being the savvy man he was, instantly recognized the who setup as a fraud. A wise, seasoned lawman like the judge would never use the term “libel,” which refers to a false publication, as in writing, print, signs, or pictures, that damages a person's reputation. “Slander” is the appropriate term, referring to spoken defamation, and would not be mistakenly switched with libel. Someone set the judge up – and exit the detective scene right, leaving other people to try to figure out who did the old man in.
In the School of Journalism at MU, we’ve had many lessons on the subject, and I was always thankful for having a few more definitions down pat when it came time to take Communications Law tests.
Libel is written denouncement and slander is the spoken kind. Case closed and move on to the next question.
Recently, the topic came up of how hard it must be to run for office with all the horrible ads one would have to suffer through. Can you imagine how hard it must be to put up with all that sludge, I was asked.
It was a rhetorical statement, and the conversation shifted on to other topics, but I silently answered the question that was directed of me.
It may be rough to be set up as a target, I admitted. However, if a person like me was to go through the process I would think there would be precious little for them to dig up.
Furthermore, though lies and mixed untruths may arise, I thought I would suffer them easily knowing the truth myself and being confident that others would see the slings for what they would be: fallacious falsehoods.
Yeah… I could deal with it. Yeah.
Today, a person unknown to me called my girlfriend and told some outrageous lies…
Pure, odious slander.
There are several reasons to take offense at this, but here is the main one:
In my life, I have developed the habit of playing poker with the cards faced up in relationships. Want to know where you stand, how I feel, what has happened before, and what I pray is next? Ask and I’ll tell you or in some cases, don’t ask but I’ll still tell it to your face.
Being blunt grates on some people. Some are afraid to trust such straightforwardness, others can’t understand how I’d leave myself vulnerable like that, and others can’t believe I wouldn’t save any aces for myself. It does me credit and it does me harm, but hate it or love it, people know what the score is.
Even though it has gotten me into trouble, I find myself sticking to the practice. I know if any of those questions pop up again, and people are often so aghast at my practice they can’t help but repeating quiries, all I have to do is carefully gesture toward the cards that have already been flopped on the table.
It should be so simple… and that’s why I hate it when people try to tell me the cards add up to something they don’t.
Pointing at a card and calling it something different doesn’t change its value. It can cause a person to doubt for a second, even to recalculate the cards, but it will still add up to the same thing.
The past is the same way. I find it interesting how some people try to recast events as folding out differently than how they occurred. It can happen on a grand scale, like when Stalin would paint over faces he didn’t want to remember in Communist Russia. It also happens when people tinker with the past to claim things turned out differently.
What gives me comfort is the fact that in both cases, the truth remains the same even if it is temporarily buried, and if you dig enough, it patiently awaits someone with the dedication to see it brought back to the surface.
Despite what has been said, alleged, and otherwise questions by others, this I know to be true: I love Jessica Elizabeth Wyatt.
I have grown only more confident of this with time. Recently, when forced to go through some serious self-examination and ask if everything I held to be true was still steadfast, I ultimately found it to be solid. There were cracks there, many caused by mistakes or oversights on my part, but I was determined to fix them and build on something I knew would be stable and lasting.
In the process, I had to face off against a woman who admitted she would do whatever she could do to keep us apart. She was upfront about her opposition and honest with her rationales why. Nevertheless, through dedication, loyalty, and a lot of prayer, I was able to get past her objections and hold Jessie again.
Now, after such a very short amount of time passing, I find myself in a similar situation.
And yet, though I see similar constructs, in that a person has stated their intent to rip us apart, I can’t help but feel things are also very different.
I like the cards metaphor, obviously, so let’s return to it.
As I look to the table, where my cards have rested untouched by my hands since they were first put down, something has changed.
I see familiar cards like tender devotion, concerned caring, passion, and dedication to achieving mutual happiness. They have long sat on the table and have only increased in trumping value.
The overall count is greater now, not just due to the appreciation I’ve earned from being dependable in the areas listed, but also because I realize a new card has been added to my hand during the course of our last trial.
God is the trump card – though it is not mine to play. The main thing I have realized over the last month is that I had messed up priorities in how I was conducting my life. I wasn’t putting the Lord first and I wasn’t always looking to him as the primary source of direction and timing. That is how things got out of whack, and in striving to follow his will, he was the one who got thing back on track.
Very shortly after I heard about the slanderous call, I realized I could not win this fight.
I know not who has set themselves against me and Jessie, I do not know where they are quartered, where they get the knowledge they mix with lies to craft more painful lies (for a lie, mixed with truth, is one of the most potent weapons), nor do I know the rationale for starting this attack. I cannot combat any of this, but God can. He is the father of truth, his light can pierce the darkness and expose every shaded object for what it is – be it truth or lies.
I am not the key player in this battle, but by turning things over to God, I can hope to achieve a victory by trusting and following him.
Throw in the bonus-multiplying factor that the would-be-obstacles claims are unfounded (unlike the previous one who had some genuine concerns I had to address and have since made additional progress on), and you see I have a pretty cool hand.
I’ll add it up for you one more time.
(My love of Jessie + her love of me) * by God’s guiding hand = His will shall be triumphant.
I don’t know what it shall be, but he gives me hope. The long that has comforted me today, and I stumbled upon it by accident is He will make a way by Kathy Troccoli. My favorite lyric of the song is the title line of, “He will make a way where there is no way.”
There will be bruises along the way, for I know how much it hurts to question what one knows to be true. It is human nature, but sometimes we cannot help ourselves.
Still, God is in control and I’m trusting in him, and the truth he brings with him.
Those who know me realize there are very few things that can trigger my temper. I’m not talking about little peeves like “and I approved this message” or when a person starts to open up a bank account in the line ahead of you when all you want is to cash a quick check and run across campus to class. When it comes to attacks that I take seriously, I make it an issue when someone goes after my friends, family, and God. Say what you will about me… I probably called myself nastier names when I was shaving this morning. Bash my writing ability, work ethic, personal cleanliness, and fashion taste. I’ve been there and done that.
But if you say something that in some way hurts the people I hold dearest to me, we have a problem.
Call me a manwhore who sleeps around and sloppily spreads his wild oats. Whatever…
Lie and claim my old girlfriend was promiscuous with me or that I wanted to dump my current girlfriend because she wouldn’t have sex with me… We have a serious problem.
In a confession that will obliterate my manhood in the eyes of most people in the world, I have never had sex with anyone I’ve dated. I haven’t had one-night stands. I haven’t had anonymous flings. Truth be told, I wouldn’t know where to start even if I wanted to. I don’t go to the right parties, my inhibitions have never been that loose (largely because I don’t ingest the right liquids or other “weakeners”).
Though I have wished to embark upon seriously self-destructive behavior, God has kept me from doing such and has used such low moments to teach me more about him, his plans, and his love. I may have been a reluctant student at times, but I learned nonetheless and am now thankful for his instruction.
Thus, now when I’m provoked on the behalf of friends and family: for Megan and the Wyatts.
Yes, I am counting the Wyatts among family for I care strongly for each and every one of them. Even though Jessie had to work last night, I still sat with her family during the Sunday evening service. I think it is the first time I’ve ever done that when she wasn’t there. God told me I needed to do more to become one with her family. Though I was nervous about following through with it, I sat next to Mrs. Wyatt for the whole service.
And most frightening enough, it even felt right like it was something I’m meant to do for many years to come.
I am fighting for those I care and worry about. Though I haven’t seen her in years, I still pray for my ex-girlfriend Megan on a regular basis (as much as I do for my lost friend David). As for the Wyatts, they have all suffered through much in life and I pray this time of trial comes to a quick end.
This slander is nearly incomprehensible. I hate the lies. I am disgusted with the depths a person or persons are plunging to. I can’t comprehend what would fuel such irresponsible verve and vice. Something else, I feel just as strongly about, is that there are surely some pained people out there who need a touch from God if they are following this path. To be pressed to this degree means there are some extremely screwed up things in their life/lives and that they need comfort and guidance from the Lord. As crazy as it may sound, but I can come to no other conclusion, whoever is needing this needs Jesus, and they need him soon. Time is short. We never seem to have as much time as we think we do, and I would encourage prayer on their behalf that they find divine truth and love in this time.
For those of you who have stuck through this long missive and are still with me, I would only ask for a few things.
One, if the person who I think is out there is reading this, call me.
We need to chat. I’ll take any combination: the mouthpiece, the information feeder, the one who seeks to benefit from this mess, etc. (and they may be one and the same).
My number is 573-(Note from 2005: I don't live there anymore, but the new tennant doesn't need to be caught up in this crap, should it somehow come around again).
If direct verbal communication isn’t your forte, and/or you’d desire more space to compose your thoughts, the email address I check most often is cmszp5@mizzou.edu.
Two, pray for the truth and for justice (which I learned from my Mother, rather than Superman). Let the cards count for what they are. I’m not saying everything I’ve done has always reflected kindly on me, since I’m human and that would be an obvious lie. Rather let the final tally be accurate, nothing more and nothing less, than what I have earned.
Three, pray that God’s love and comfort aids all who are caught in this frightful escape. Let Him give everyone what they need to get to where He would have us be. It is a lot to ask for, I know, but I can’t bring myself to ask for any less.
Slander hurts, but His truth is bigger. I’ll leave it at that.
Thank you for your time and prayers.
- Caleb
'I_need_Justice_Truth_and_Love'
