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Live Paradox

A journeyman’s ramblings: He is no everyman, but one who turns a carefully focused eye on the events of the madcap world around him. He aims to point out what others miss and draw attention to the patterns that exist amongst the chaos. 

Thursday, September 30, 2004

10:08 PM -

WAG - Wasting away in second-lunch Margaritaville


I have a lot of partially drafted posts on the way. I’m working on setting up a buffer system to ensure there is at least one update a day even if I don’t go near a keyboard.

In the meantime, I stumbled across a story that completely cracks me up.

Apparently, some third, fourth, and fifth graders from Alexandria Country Day School were accidently served margaritas during lunch (this from a school that has touted itself as having a stimulating and nurturing environment).

We must rewind a brief bit to show how this crazy event came to pass.

Two days earlier, this private school hosted a Mexican themed party for the school board, staff, and parents. Included in the refreshments were tequila based margaritas. After the event, an extra pitcher of the mix ended up in the school’s refrigerator.

Flash forward a few days. Despite the fact it is a small school, the average class size is 13 students, the cafeteria ran out of milk while serving the middle schoolers. There was a short break before the next group came in and that was when the decision to serve what was believed to be “limeade” to the kids.

Why none of the lunch servers noticed the peculiar odor of the beverage will probably haunt the school headmaster long into his retirement.

The children noticed something was up, many of them complaining about both the smell and the taste. When the mistake was noticed, the Dixie cups of the questionable liquid were all collected. Reportedly, though it was obvious some students had sipped the drinks, none of the cups were completely empty. Other teachers were informed about the lunch debacle and watched their students for any lingering effect of the booze. No suspect behavior was observed.

I can’t say I’ve had an experience like this in all my years spent around cafeterias. There was one time at summer camp where I thought we were given grapefruit juice, which was a welcome departure from the typical orange juice. I remember thinking it was nice to have something tangy for a change when the kitchen servers started recollecting cups of the juice. As a lady grabbed my cup, I complained I wasn’t done yet. She told me some orange juice had gone bad. I believed I sipped my orange juice carefully through the rest of the week.

Of course, this never would have happened if alcohol hadn’t been allowed on the campus. Now alcohol has been banned from the school, but the damage has already been done. The young kids will now be able to long brag about their first taste of alcohol, in a couple years when they realize how serious the event was (it’ll take a few years to truly get a grasp on it).

I only wish I could have been present when the head of the school had to alert the parents to what had happened before he became flooded with questions such as “Why did my Timmy reek of booze when he got home from school today?” Can you imagine how much fun it must be drafting the note to the parents saying, “Um… We sorta fed your children a little bit of alcohol. Our bad.”? I don’t know how much squirming when on or how often the head of school had to ask his secretary, “Okay. How does this sound?” but reading the final letter that was sent out gives me all sorts of imagined pleasures.

That’s it for now. I hope you all have a good day.

'No_you_don’t_have_to_ask_What_Would_Jimmy_Buffet_Do'


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