It’s time for the (practically) weekly quote log. Some of these quotes are about a month old, but I think the exchanges are so good they shouldn’t just be skipped. Of course, that’s just my opinion. Only time, and the co-workers who read this site, will tell.
On carving ice sculptures with fire:
“Well, we’re not talking welding hot here; hot enough to melt ice.”
“So 33 degrees?”
“Do they have a permit for that?”
On Lanky the Clown, a standard fixture at the county fair:
“He’s going down this year.”
“So were you bit by a clown at a young age?”
“I hate that clown.”
During a lunch break, the background on a certain computer get’s changed to tiled clown:
“Zac is evil tonight.”
“It’s all Lanky.”
“Do you think she’ll let him live?”
Trying to explain cattle brands:
“It’s an N.”
“No, it’s a lazy Z because it’s on it’s back.”
“It’s an N.”
A poor apartment heater guarantees additional work output:
“It’s cold out there.”
“So if you ever get your heater fixed, then we’ll have to worry about you not coming back?”
“Pretty much.”
A well-trained employee:
“Hey, Zac!”
“I can’t hear you, but I agree with everything you said.”
“You guys are all crack heads, just deal with it.
“You can’t do anything to hurt me.”
“We could break into your house and erase your saved games.”
“Oooh…”
“Dude, have a heart.”
An extra slot opens on the Burbank business trip:
“Does Zac know he’s going to California, and if not, can we tell him?”
After much taunting and veiled hints, the reporter gets in touch with the publisher:
“No, I don’t know where I’m going. No one will tell me!”
Shortly after:
“Sure I can go. I don’t have anything going on but work and stuff.”
An unacceptable start to an article:
(Reading over a shoulder) “‘Wyoming residents wanting to commit a little incest ill face more jail time if convicted.’”
“Justin!”
“I said ‘if convicted.’”
“How come all the Spanish you know centers around ‘taco stores’?”
Imagined conversation with an unhelpful source:
“Listen you little pasty-faced scrout!”
“You might want to leave some of those words out. ‘Listen’ was good.”
“Leave out ‘listen’? Okay. You little pasty-faced scrout!”
“What are you doing today?”
“Do you mean today or in the existential sense?”
“I guess today.”
“Well, that’s less interesting.”
On eating worms:
“Well how do you know they don’t taste good? Fancy cheese tastes bad and people like it.”
“Well tell you what, Zac. I’ll go get some and you can eat it.”
“Worms or fancy cheese?”
“I like your glasses. I didn’t recognize you.”
“That’s how Superman does it.”
“Let’s call Holly and tell her we broke the copy machine by putting a sandwich in it.” (Switches to a whiny voice) “We were all hungry, but we only had one sandwich, and now the machine doesn’t work and the sandwich tastes funny.”
I forget the context, but I can’t dispute the sentiments expressed:
“Caleb’s confusing fantasy and reality, again!”
“People are psycho. Psycho, psycho, psycho muffins.”
“That’s three psychos?”
“Yeah. Not one, or two, but three.”
Craziness craves company:
“The good news is that he fits in here. The bad news is that it’s kinda a testament to the place.”
Relations with city officials:
“They hate us, yet they find us useful.”
“That’s the major advantage of the press.”
said...
I've got an amusing quote too! It's Sullivan's tourism slogan.
"Sullivan, Missouri - NOT just another stop along the way."
(I added the capitalization of "not" but other than that, that's really what it is.)
Caleb Michael said...
What idiotic test group picked this one out... especially when the town has thrived on the transient highway business. If it weren't just another stop along the way, it wouldn't have anything.
That being said, it still only reaches #2 on my all-time worst city slogan list.
#1 remains -- “Columbia: The smart, innovative, artsy, eclectic, clever, savvy, vibrant, too-dynamic-to-fit-into-a-short-tagline city.”
And that motto cost the city $45,000 and 18 months to come up with that.
Here's hoping Sullivan saved some time and money with their selection.