I’ve spent a bit of time in my hotel’s gift shop lately. The management stuck the one public access computer in amongst the racks of clothes and stuffed animals.
While I’ve spent most of my time in there staring at the computer – which is still lacking in an internet connection – I’ve peripherally taken in the sights.
Now that I stop to think about it, there are some bizarre, inappropriate, or downright stupid products for sale.
Here is my list of items that don’t belong in Days Inn Wyoming gift shop:
A deer stuffed animal – While the animal is biologically related to the area, this specific animal doesn’t seem family friendly. Due to the placement of its eyebrows in relation to the plastic eyes, the deer comes off looking malevolent. It’s like Bambi has finally caught up with the man who offed his mother – and it preparing his final revenge.
Butterfly-winged fairies – They’re nice and sweet but I question their place in a Wyoming gift shop. Fairies came from European folk tales. To my knowledge high-desert Native Americans didn’t have any legends of winged-Caucasian sprites. It’s as jaded as going to a tribal gift shop in Mongolia and finding little effigies of Uncle Sam, Paul Bunyan, and Johnny Appleseed.
A bear with a Pilgrim hat – Bear do work for the area, but the holiday is long pass and we’re some distance from Massachusetts.
Chocolate covered peanuts – While I don’t mind snacks, they belong in vending machines. Otherwise you take the risk that they’ve been hanging on a hook for years, like the peanuts I see on the wall. Same with the trail mix on the neighboring peg.
Beanie baby orca – I was repeated warned what to do in case of a water landing on my flight to Wyoming, but I doubt there’s a body of water that supports a whale in a 400-mile radius.
500-piece wild horse puzzle - It’s not the product I’m objecting to, but the fact it’s obviously been opened. Why feature an item that has been already opened and will probably leave you three pieces short when you finish emptying the box.
Candles - Being stuck in a non-smoking room with a prominently displayed smoke detector, I don’t think pushing candles is a wise decision.
Hot pink, purple, and fuchsia monkeys – These primates have never been found in nature, let alone Wyoming. Cryptozoologists are free to correct me.
Spring photo albums - Since I’m told the warmer season doesn’t start until June this is another item that seems premature in it’s posting (even if we keep starting holidays earlier and earlier each year).
Chugwater Chili packets - I don’t go to hotels to sample local cuisine. If I did, I would hit the restaurant rather than buy powderized soup to whip up in my own suite.
Dolls with crocheted dresses – They just freak me out, especially the one in navy blue (I think her name is Rachel).
Polar bears stuffed animals – It’s a bit too far south to feature this animals. Granted, it’s not as tropical as other places, but still, it shouldn’t be mixed in amongst the buffalo and antelope slippers.
