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Live Paradox

A journeyman’s ramblings: He is no everyman, but one who turns a carefully focused eye on the events of the madcap world around him. He aims to point out what others miss and draw attention to the patterns that exist amongst the chaos. 

Saturday, November 19, 2005

3:19 PM - Listing Away

Music: You Can’t Always Get what You Want by the Rolling Stones

In an earlier post I referenced an “all-time-to-do” list.

After reading that, some may have asked, “Is someone really so meticulous and pedantic to actually write out such a list?”

In response to that question, I humbly submit this page from “The personal files of Caleb Michael Smith, Esq.

All-time To-do List, page 11
Numbers #218 - #237

#218 – I’d like to learn what the different clubs mean in golf, not so I can play the game better, but because I want to be a better caddy. That’s all I aspire to do on the greens.

#219 – I’d like to do falconry thanks to the early influence of the book, “My Side of the Mountain.”

#220 – I’d like something noteworthy named after me. A cancer wing, a species of tree frog, a lost Amazonian village renamed for my courage in defending their honor – something.

#221 – I’d like to watch the “Back to the Future” trilogy back-to-back-to-back.

#222 – I’d like to finish “Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger, (a book I restart every couple of months, but can’t seem to get any traction in despite my love of Salinger’s short stories).

#223 – I’d like to learn to smoothly crack eggs using only one hand.

#224 – I’d like a new pair of leather moccasins (Note:I haven’t had a good set since the pair I tore up playing a pick-up basketball game after a re-enactment).

#225 – I’d like to update my American Red Cross First Aid and CPR certification.

#226 – I’d like to attend a bowl game and watch the team I’m cheering for win.

#227 – I’d like to build a tree house that isn’t a hazard to those who would seek to enjoy it.

#228 – I’d like to start a campaign to bring back McDonald’s Arch Deluxe.

#229 – I’d like to stand on a corner in Winslow, Arizona.

#230 – I’d like to buy the world a Coke, or at least be so financially established that it’d be a genuine option.

#231 – I’d like to live in a house that has a Koi pond.

#232 – I’d like to get the smallpox vaccine, not that I’m worried, but because it sounds like something cool to brag about.

#233 – I’d like to learn to play another instrument other than the trumpet or the kazoo which I’ve already mastered.

#234 –I’d like to go to an observatory and gaze at the planets.

#235 – I’d like to ride in a hot air balloon (I had the opportunity in 1998 and turned it down and have regretted it ever since).

#236 – I'd like to beat the snot out of an ice sculpture.

#237 – I’d like to travel to some destination where my Midwestern accent would be considered exotic.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was freaking funny my furry little friend. Good job. I guess you aren't as retarded as I thought. You're still gay though.  


Blogger Caleb Michael said...

To ask it to invite ridicule, but for the sake of clarity I must proceed.

What definition of the word "gay" are you invoking?

Are we talking "jolly and happy" or "the plot of Brokeback Mountain?"  


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