It seems I’ve been writing a lot of lists lately.
It’s a habit I picked up from my mother. I’m sure a guidance counselor or two in my past tried to cultivate the same positive behavior, but I base my current practice on the example provided by my mother.
I have lots of memories of my mother making a brief list of things to do and checking her way down the page. It’s a smart, organized way to methodically accomplish a complex set of goals.
It can also be used to waste time, as proved by a recent list of questions my unemployed mind has spawned:
Does anyone know when the school year starts in the Southern Hemisphere?
Are there still sign-ups for the French Foreign Legion?
Who does the officiating for the Guinness Book of World Records, and who put the drink guys in charge of it anyway?
What kind of health benefits do you get if you work as an assistant to a sideshow knife thrower?
Is there any way around the “must speak Mandarin” requirement at Hong Kong Disney?
Does Apple need an extra person to test run the latest iPod? I’d do it for free.
Can you simultaneously be a bartender and a teetotaler?
Is the Goodyear Blimp crew hiring?
Do you have to provide your own helmet to be a human cannonball and is a history of head injuries a bonus?
Where do organ grinders get their dancing monkeys (must they buy the simians, or can they be leased)?
Are there any eccentric millionaires trying to build a real Jurassic Park and, if so, do they need gift shop workers?
How many tattoos are required to be a member of the Hell’s Angels?
Are there any clothed positions at the nudist colony, like the guy who drives the ice cream course (of course, you know all nudist colonies have ice cream trucks)?
Does Cher want help on her next “final farewell” tour?
Are workers at the zoo’s penguin exhibit allowed to have snowball fights, and if not, what are the repercussions should they engage in the prohibited behavior?
Does the Girl Scout Cookie plant need a “quality control” tester? Do they provide milk?
Can people volunteer for jury duty?
