WAG - It's About Time!
Being a journalism student, I spend a bit of time reading the news.
Note: And by "a bit," I mean for the phrase to be applied in the same manner as, "I breathe a bit as well."
Anyway, along with practicing my writing and speling in basic classes, I'm now working my way through editing classes. Now, I'm looking more at formats and how stories are presented and what headlines are used.
Thus, I am tickled by accidentally ambiguous headline: U.S. to Take Charge of Haiti Force - France.
After reading that headline, all I can think is: I’m surprised we didn’t invade the country earlier for all its bickering and backbiting.
Countless bad jokes flitter through my head. What was the size of the invading force it took to compel the French to surrender?
Answer: It took a single company of 16 members (counting the platoon cook and the Dalmation mascot, Lil’ Sparky).
Imagine them storming EuroDisney to liberate it, much to the resounding joy of the lone remaining tourist in the park.
I have visions of the Eiffel Tower being painted red, white, and blue with a McDonalds installed at the top (and all of the Happy Meals come with little G.I. paratroopers which the children can then throw over the side to pelt the locals below and provide a steady reminder of who is in charge.)
My most perverse pleasure come from the imagined organized readjustment of the culture and the steady indoctrination of American values:
Let's take a peak at such an "education" session:
American solider: Say it.
Beret wearing local: No.
American solider: Say it!
Berated Local: I can’t.
American solider: SAY IT!
Tearing up local: Okay! And I'll have a side order of, sniff, Freedom fries…
American solider: That’s better
Broken Freedom-man: (Collapses in a heap and starts to weep into his silly looking hat).
None of this is close to the reality of the French official saying that the U.S. was taking over, but it certainly made me chuckle.
And for anyone who wishes to denounce this attempt at humor, I only have this as a response.
'Bonjour'
