WAG - Bonus Question: How long does it take to cook a 3-minute egg?
And we thought the Ricky Clemons thing was pathetic.
Thursday night, during the course of my usual weekly phone call with my parents, I first heard about the latest basketball scandal.
Yes, I know it may seem like they’re a quarter a dozen (you know how inflation is slightly up) these days, but this is a doozy.
A standard charge is leveled across basketball teams across the nation (from levels ranging from middle school to college) that coaches go out of their way to give their players an education free ride. Rumors of tutors, designated test takers, exam answer banks, and other accessories are often alluded to. Though admittedly not true for all athletes, it is “common knowledge” that many have had a little extra grease put on their wheels (and it usually comes from somebody else’s elbows).
The end all, save all myth, however, is the slack off course specifically tailored for those who possess sports scholarships. The legend of easy classes often referred to with suspicion, (such as MU’s geology class known as “Rocks for Jocks”), but rarely is there solid proof of such scholastic shenanigans.
Of course, and the former assistant basketball coach at the University of Georgia Jim Harrick Jr. can attest to this, there are always exceptions to the rules.
In the fall of 2001, Harrick taught PEDS 3912, or Coaching Methods for Basketball.
The 39-member class was predominately populated by basketball players.
The syllabus says the course will teach skills such as “ various techniques and styles of dribbling” and cover topics including
“coaching boys and differences from coaching girls”. The last item of the syllabus was about dealing with the post-game media, which has become very important to the former pupils who are now being prodded by the press.
Questions about Georgia’s basketball program and the conduct of the coaching staff has been swirling since 2002. The head coach, Jim Harrick Senior (Jimmy’s daddy) resigned and his son’s contract was not renewed. The NCAA started an investigation into “academic fraud” and “improper benefits” and the team was kept out of the SEC (Southeastern) and NCAA tournaments.
Think the charges are pretty bad? Let’s look at the evidence.
Over 1,500 papers were released by the university in response to the NCAA’s request for more information about the violations. The document being most cited in the media is a copy of the final for PEDS 3912. It is the ultimate nail in the coffin for the allegations.
You can view the test in the link previously given, or you can peruse this adapted version below. In order to help people who may not be familiar with the Georgia basketball program, I altered the questions as if the test was being given by a Missouri Tiger’s coach. Granted, that won’t help you if you’re from out of state, but what can you do?
For clarity sake, clarification items added by me are in (parenthesises) and any questions that were edited appear in bold. Only the Georgia answers have been deleted and the original alternatives were retained (except for #12 where the MU’s correct answer was already listed, and “Blue” was added in).
Imagine that you are a basketball player and you were given this test.
Ready? Begin.
PEDS 3912 Final Exam Name:
1. How many goals are on a basketball court?
a. 1
b. 2
c. 3
d. 4
2. How many players are allowed to play at one time on any one team in a regulation game?
a. 2
b. 3
c. 4
d. 5
3. In what league to (sic) the Missouri Tigers compete?
a. ACC (Atlantic Coast Conference)
b. Big Ten
c. Big XII
d. Pac 10 (Pacific Ten)
4. What is the name of the arena where the Missouri Tigers play?
a. Cameron Indoor Arena (Duke University)
b. Hearnes Center
c. Carrier Dome (Syracuse University)
d. Pauley Pavilion (UCLA)
5. How many halves are in a college basketball game?
a. 1
b. 2 (Hint – Check the answer to #1)
c. 3
d. 4
6. How many quarters are in a high school basketball game?
a. 1
b. 2
c. 3
d. 4
7. How many points does one field goal account for in a Basketball Game?
a. 1
b. 2
c. 3
d. 4
8. How many points does a 3-point field goal account for in a Basketball Game?
a. 1
b. 2
c. 3
d. 4
9. How many officials referee a college basketball game?
a. 2
b. 4
c. 6
d. 3
10. How many teams are in the NCAA Men's Basketball National Championship Tournament?
a. 48
b. 64
c. 65
d. 32
11. What is the name of the exam which all high school seniors in the State of Georgia must pass?
a. Eye Exam
b. How Do The Grits Taste Test
c. Bug Control Exam
d. Missouri Assessment Program
12. What basic color are the uniforms the Missouri Tigers wear in home games?
a. Blue
b. Red
c. White
d. Silver
13. What basic color are the uniforms the Georgia Bulldogs wear in away games?
a. Pink
b. Blue
c. Orange
d. Black
14. How many minutes are played in a college basketball contest?
a. 20
b. 40
c. 60
d. 90
15. How many minutes are played in a high school basketball game?
a. 15
b. 30
c. 32
d. 45
16. Diagram the 3-point line.
17. Diagram the half-court line.
18. How many fouls is a player allowed to have in one Basketball game before fouling out in that game? (Hint – it’s the “Bad number”)
a. 3
b. 5
c. 7
d. 0
19. If you go on to become a huge coaching success, to whom will you tribute (sic) the credit?
a. Mike Krzyzewski (Duke University)
b. Bobby Knight (Texas Tech)
c. John Wooden (UCLA)
d. Quin Snyder
20. In your opinion, who is the best Division I assistant coach in the country?
a. Ron Jursa (sic) (Marshall Universtity [Ron Jirsa - former coach at Georgia 1997-99])
b. John Pelphrey (University of South Alabama)
c. Quin Snyder
d. Steve Wojciechowski (Duke University)
Personally, question 11 is my favorite, though the last question took some gall to ask.
Not only is the test insultingly easy, even for people who have never played the game on a regular basis, but there are some indications you didn’t even have to do that much. Sports Illustrated quoted a person who said on exam day, when some people didn’t show up, those present were encouraged to tell their missing classmates to drop by the coaches office, but also that it was “no big deal.” Further evidence turned in indicates that the tests weren’t even graded; though I’d wager the last two questions were skimmed.
The Red and Black, the university’s independent student paper, had their feature story on the recent document dump. In it, they quote a university official’s discontent with the media’s coverage of the situation:
“I wish the media were not so quick to use this exam to 'har de har' at the University of Georgia," he said. "They took one page out of a 1,500-page report and pulled it completely out of context."
Do you recall how many points is a 3-point point goal worth?
I think this situation has context enough.
The final page of the exam wished the students a “Great Christmas Break!!!”
At the time, I bet he wasn’t expecting the team to go on an extended “vacation” or for him to have a permanent “time out” from his job. I can feel for the university students that are branded for their association with the school. Times are going to be rough. Archrivals will do what they can to keep such memories fresh, tournament berths will be bitterly missed, and your self-respect will take a hit.
Life will go on, however. The tainted badge of “corrupt basketball” will come to pass. Somewhere else across this great nation of ours, another athletic scandal is brewing. Testimony is being given, document requests written up, and public relation officials are sweating.
And someday, you’ll be able to thank some bozo idiot coach at some other school by drawing the attention away from your sorry campus, in the same way I’m expressing my gratitude.
Thanks Bulldogs.
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