WAG - Do-It-Yourself Home Mental Disorder Test
Today, after a series of ups and downs (pressure about my profile, the university archives shipping the wrong file, finding the number of the daughter of my subject – and her being willing to call me back long-distance from Virginia), I feel I should perform some type of mental heath examination on myself.
Thinking of what test would suffice, I thought back to a few days earlier when I was skimming old entries on this site. I ran across a February 22 entry where I did a 5-word free association exercise.
Thus, I was inspired to update the test, expand it a tad, and put it to my personal use.
The sections will be prompted by words randomly selected from the Webster’s New World College Dictionary: Fourth Edition.
Note: I had to buy it for editing class. Actually, I put off purchasing it for several weeks before there was a quiz specifically covering information included in the book (and all the University Book Store’s copies came plastic wrapped where one didn’t have the luxury of perusing it for free). After all that, I figure I might as well go a bit out of my way to get a bit more use out of it (at least until I need a new door stop).
Anyway, without any other interruption, may we introduce…
Ear – Head Phones – Music – Muzak – Elevator – Shaft – “Can you Dig it?” – Shovel
- Personal Diagnosis: Other than displaying a predilection or preference for song cues, things look good.
Petal - Flower – Skunk – Bambi – Bambi’s Mom – Shot Gun - Jr. Walker and The All Stars
- Personal Diagnosis: Okay. Once again, I find myself musing about the lyrics of a golden oldie, I took a potentially tragic cue and turned it into something peppy and upbeat.
Latin - Greek – Oedipus – Eyes – Blind – Ray Charles – Diet Pepsi
- Personal Diagnosis: Once again, perky music trumps a depressing motif. You got the right one, baby, uh huh.
Karl Marx - Russia – U.S.S.R. – Cold War – Nuclear Winter – Sledding – Frosty
- Personal Diagnosis: Bucking the potential Beatles cue, though it was a close second, I found the bright, happy points in a thermonuclear end to the world. Hey kids! Snow days are permanent now!
Deputy - Sheriff – Badge – Six-shooter – Wyatt Earp – Tombstone – Pizza
- Personal Diagnosis: Not much to say hear other than I realized I was hungry at the end.
Vertebra - Spine – Stegosaurus – T-Rex – Jurassic Park – Tourist Trap – Hayley Mills
- Personal Diagnosis: Okay this is going to take some ‘splaining. My mind stalled out for a wild around “Tourist Trap” before kicking out Hayley Mills who stared in the original 1961 classic Parent Trap which, for those of you who, like my sister, take close score of these things, should not be confused with the 1998 remake which starred Lindsay Lohan in the ultimate double billing.
Everglades - Gators – Powerade – Track – Laps – Dog – Tired
- Personal Diagnosis: Old track memories (conjuring up the smell of dirt, sweat, and Gatorade) die-hard.
Narcotics - Crack Cocaine – Columbia – MU – Truman – “Buck Stops Here” - Hunting
- Personal Diagnosis: Okay, the whole thing took a dark turn toward the end, but I know a number of hunters who have evoked Harry’s famous motto as their own.
Receptionist - Phone – Telemarketer – Evil – Bad – Satan – Beelzebub
- Personal Diagnosis: This would be a sign I was turning for the worst if the “t-word” context didn’t justify the outburst. I’m putting this one down as a fluke.
Lyre - Liar – “Pants on Fire” – Fire Department – Trucks – Lights – Roller Disco
- Personal Diagnosis: Flashing lights prompt memories of 70’s songs being played at the skating rink (though at that early age, I didn’t realize the significance of the songs played until later).
Oregon Trail – Trail Blazing – Pioneers – Covered Wagons – Circling – Blazing Saddles – canned Klu Klux Klan
- Personal Diagnosis: While thinking of the brave settlers headed out West, I soon thought of the caravan in the movie Blazing Saddles where Cleavon Little’s family forms a one-wagon circle.
That immediately evoked my favorite scene in the movie where Cleavon and Gene Wilder lure two white-robbed idiot bigots into an ambush thrashing with the immortal line, “Hey, where are the white women at?”
Test results indicate: It looks like I’m more pop culture obsessed than depressed, which has pros and cons in and of itself.
Final Conclusion: I'm doing fine, which is the same, which is fine.
'Didnt_need_no_ten_buck_co_pay_either'
