WAG - “No, I’m not back. I’m just visiting”
This is the statement I should have recorded to replay to all the people who asked me the same question over and over.
Better yet, I should have trained a monkey to mime the statement. Granted, fewer people would have understood the message, but I wouldn’t mind it being repeated over and over again.
Yesterday, I traveled to Columbia, Missouri and played tourist for a day.
The opportunity to play “newbie” in a place you’re quite familiar with doesn’t come very often, but then I was dealing with a special situation.
I promised my girlfriend I’d find time to visit her. A promise, made in May, sat unfulfilled for a long time. We were both busy with family obligations, work, and the tiny little things that never end up on the calendar, but take up time, nonetheless.
Finally, I worked out a time where I had wheels and permission to go (I’d had both earlier, but never at the same time).
I set 3 alarm clocks for early Sunday morning and was cruising up the road before 7:00 a.m. Even though I was taking state routes, the roads were largely abandoned. I didn’t see any serious traffic until hitting Jefferson City.
My plan was to meet Jessie at Praise Assembly of God church for the morning service. I arrived in Columbia around 9:00 a.m. To kill some time I cruised around the MU campus. There was some sort of basketball tournament, for the state games I believe, being hosted at the campus fitness center, so activity was centered around there.
I got a kick out of seeing how far buildings had progressed since I was there last (Virginia Avenue Dorms are beginning to look good, though they won’t be done until next year. The fitness center is surrounded on three sides by construction equipment. Last, the new life sciences building didn’t have much external improvement, but most of the frame was finished before the end of the semester).
The campus looked good overall. Though the number of students taking classes plummets during the summer, special care is taken to keep the buildings and grounds looking nice for all the visiting families. The campus becomes a bit grungier as more students arrive (and become harder to clean up after) and fresh, brightly colored plants aren’t rotated as frequently.
I took note of the closed roads on campus (there had been an email about them months ago, but I promptly deleted it since I’ve never had a vehicle on campus before) before going to church.
Jessie was waiting for me in the parking lot and we went inside. It’s a great feeling being welcomed by people who have missed you, even if they keep asking you the same question over and over again (“Are you back now?”).
Sunday school and morning services were good. I sat with Jessie’s family. Since her mother is a foster care worker, and currently houses 15 kids, they take up a number of pews.
Sometimes I felt like an animal surveyed behind glass at the zoo. “Species: New Boyfriend,” I’m sure my placard read. The little ones turned around to stare at me, before realizing they were noticed (which I often signaled by waving at them) and either waved back or quickly turned around before repeating the process.
The older ones, some of which were having fun at my expense before the end of the semester, asked me pointed questions and/or simply slammed me. This would set the tone for the rest of the day.
I later found out the mother had warned them all to “be good” and “don’t act up” which didn’t last more than five minutes, but was a nice thought anyway.
Fortunately, life in the Smith house has kept me in peak condition with the art of word play, so I was able to parry and thrust my way through with little effort. I would play along with the little kids, humor the older ones who were asking me legitimate questions, and act as screw as the ones who were trying to stir up mischief for their own entertainment. To each their own you might say.
After church, I ate barbeque at the Wyatt house (where previously mentioned behavior could continue without being slowed down by any singing or sermons). We watched Remember the Titans as the food was grilled.
Actually, Remember the Titans played at the food was being prepared. An equally entertaining show was also performed in the living room as various members of the house sought to have fun with the new guy. Toys were showed off, magic tricks displayed, questions were asked, comments were made, pillows were flung, threats were made, secrets were revealed, talents were boasted (my personal favorite was the kid who had memorized all Remember the Titans and recited along with the movie verbatim [both in words and tone]), and a puppy made a guest appearance and out staged everything else.
I guess the movie was good too when I got around to glancing at the TV in the moments between “acts.” The food was good, though the preparation went so late there wasn’t time to see a movie.
Instead, Jessie and I gave tours of our respective “worlds.” She directed me around Hallsville (about 10 miles north of Columbia) and I then took her around the MU campus.
The temperature and humidity were rough; thus far the hottest of the year I’d hear that evening. We’d drive for a spell before walking around. Then we’d return to the car and give thanks to the person who invented air conditioning.
On foot we surveyed Hatch Hall (old dorm), Cramer (new dorm), the Memorial Union, and Peace Park. We drove past most of the other landmarks.
“There’s Peace Park. I don’t recall how many wars have broken out since the park was dedicated, but at least it was a good idea.”
“That building with a lot of windows, and a lot of open bars, though you can’t see them, is the Alumni Center.”
“There’s the Missourian. Make a rude gesture at it for me. I need to keep both hands on the wheels.”
From Shakespeare’s Pizza to the new basketball arena to Tiger Plaza we scoped out everything but the Tiger Spot. I could see in the distance there were people gathered beneath the circus tent, but since Jessie had almost reached her walking intolerance level, I didn’t know if it was people working to restore the mosaic or locals returning hammers to finish the job of wrecking it (which is what the artist claims did the damage and not the harsh Missouri winters [Clue: Most outdoor mosaics are displayed in year-round warm weather climates like the Mediterranean; not Missouri.]).
We then headed back to church for the evening service, which was just as good as the morning’s one. A few new faces showed up to the evening service so I got to catch up with a few more friends (“Two more weeks, people. Please ask me another question.”).
All in all, I had a great day retracing steps around a familiar place with a beautiful person on my arm. Jessie couldn’t say the same thing, but hey, at least we both laughed, learned, and had fun.
And I couldn’t repeat that enough.
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