WAG - Movies, Madness
Okay, this is another story told out of sequence and without all the loose ends tied up, but some tales demand to be recounted.
And this is a doozy.
My sister Hannah has already included her version of this tale (see the July 20th entry), but I’d like to add my 2 cents to the till. Come with me as we flash back to last Friday (Whoosh! “Boy, that was fast”).
I took last Friday off. I had several hours of overtime logged and it was one of the last times my sister and I would have a chance to hang out. She had the day off as well and we decided to do something big.
Well, not too big. Our parents were out of town so a road trip was axed and partying at the Smith house was largely frowned upon (though technically not explicitly outlawed).
Instead, we decided to go to the local cineplex (for those in the immediate area of Sullivan, we went to the Union Great Eight Cinema, since Sullivan’s old movie theater closed down last year and the new one won’t be finished until next year).
But first, we hit Wal-Mart to buy school supplies (with the help of Hannah’s Wal-Mart employee discount card). I picked up basic essentials (notebooks, Kleenex, etc) along with some extra items like a large camping chair (I buy and bust one every year), a 6-foot tall lamp, and Pez dispensers.
Cramming over $100 worth of supplies into a wobbly cart took quite a bit of time, so we were beginning to worry about the time when we exited the store.
The first complication hit when we neglected to bring the movie listing paper with us. We found we weren’t sure when the first movie was starting (though we knew it was 2:something). We decided to head straight to the movie theatre rather than returning home and placing our carefully crafted schedule in jeopardy.
The second complication came almost immediately when we found my sister didn’t have a key to the trunk. I don’t have any keys to any of the family vehicles (I turned them in when I went to college and I have never been issued any replacement keys) and my sister only had a key to the ignition.
We decided we would lock the bags in the car while we were in the theatre.
We booked it to Union (which is roughly 25 miles away) and found we had an extra 30 minutes (“Oh, you were right. It was 2:30”).
That gave us time to confirm our scheduling and purchase our tickets for 4 movies: Finding Nemo, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, and Johnny English.
With two matinees and two marquee showings, it only cost us $20 each, not counting the price we paid for the popcorn bucket of unlimited refills (which we took full advantage of [and as an extra bonus, it was a collectible Bad Boys II bucket]).
Anyway, we were finally able to begin our 9-hour movie marathon.
Finding Nemo lived up to the expectations connected to any Pixar film: beautifully rendered, funny for the kids and adults, and just plain fun. The beginning is one of the saddest Disney movie moments (trumping the Bambi’s quivering “Mother? Mother!” by about 400), but the movie gets past that, and several other serious moments, to a spectacular finish.
I missed a Randy Newman soundtrack and “Bloopers reel” at the end of the movie, but I later read in Entertainment Weekly Pixar purposely went in a different direction to make sure those traditions never had the chance to wear thin (I don’t see how that could happen, but it’s rare thing to have the self-control not to do too much of a good thing).
Anyway, the movie was just as quotable as any other Pixar movie (“INTERVENTION!” “Mine!” “Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles… My bubbles!”) and my sister and I will be fighting to see who can purchase the DVD first.
Next came the League of Extraordinary Gentleman (also represented by the substandard LXG [It’s like they’re trying to capture the Independence Day = ID4 magic, but not quite making it]). I am a bit familiar with the Alan Moore comic on which this movie was based.
Ever since I heard about the comic’s concept, literary characters from the turn of the century are all thrown together in the same mix, I liked the idea. The comic is very sharp and sprinkled with countless cross-references (from Alice and Wonderland to Robin Hood to Pollyanna) in a world where all these stories did happen.
The first 30 minutes were mostly true to the comic (the paintings of previous Leagues in the headquarters were a treat), but things quickly became Hollywood.
It was a good movie, but it seemed just short of being an “extraordinary” movie. This may be my bias toward the original story, but still the movie had more imagination and class than most summer movies, and I give it much credit for that.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl was on my must-see list since I saw the expanded trailer back in April (The original teaser trailer seemed lame [An aerial view of a skull shaped island followed my a single bony footstep], but the clips included later one made it worth it).
It was a classic Jerry Bruckheimer produced film: explosions, comedy, explosions, extensive action sequences, explosions, attitude, and more explosions. Did I mention explosions? Despite the formulaic approach, and the laughable fact the movie is based on an amusement park ride, I loved it.
Johnny Depp’s swaggering portrayal of Jack Sparrow (“CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow!”) was hilarious. Orlando Bloom found another lovable character to add to the list of roles that make ladies swoon (even if I kept looking at his ears and going, "Something’s missing...”). It was nice to see a female lead who, after the mandatory screaming, wide-eyed shots, went on to dish out pain along with the boys.
The villains were great. There were so many great scenes (“Why is the rum on fire?” and though it was repeated thousands of times in the marketing, “You best start believin’ in ghost stories; you’re in one!”). It was perfect summer escapism.
Last was Johnny English staring Rowan Atkinson, also known as Mr. Bean. Though not the best movie of the night, it held its own considering what it was compared too. Rowan Atkinson displayed his matchless skill in physical comedy (Lip synching in the bathroom and dancing on coffins). He was backed up by a solid cast and helped saved England. What more could you ask for?
Oh yeah. The appearance of a preening, power-mad French villain shows how the country is mocked by more than just Amerians.
All movies were good in their own way. It helped they were all a little bit different: family comedy, action-adventure, adventure-comedy, and pure comedy.
As we exited the parking lot around 11:00 p.m., we agreed everything had done well.
The third complication came late, though with a vengeance, when we found my sister’s ignition key couldn’t unlock the door.
We were dealing with a 1983 Oldsmobile. The rear windows didn’t roll down, but had a small window that could pivot out to let air in. Those windows were closed, but we figured we could pry them open and unlock a door.
Contributing to this questionable logic is the fact it was a finicky window and had often popped open or even dropped out of the moving vehicle when we least wanted it too. I reasoned if it happened all the time when we didn’t want it to, it should happen once when we wanted it to for a change.
I was right.
And as the window shattered, the broken frame pivoted out just like I planned.
I cut my hand a tiny bit (though not any more than when I was working with thorn bushes during campsite maintenance). Glass flew everywhere, but no one else was in the parking lot so we didn’t attract any attention.
Giddy, I-can’t-believe-this-is-happening laughter filled the air as we unlocked the doors and headed back toward Sullivan.
God displayed his sense of humor through the radio selections. The Rolling Stones sang “I can’t get no satisfaction” and Uncle Kracker sang, “Something is wrong here. I don’t belong here.” (from "In a Little While" - Hannah to the rescue!)
A small thunderstorm was on the horizon, but we seemed to skim the edge because the car didn’t get much water in it at all. We affixed a plastic bag over the window (a telltale sign of being a Redneck as listed in a Jeff Foxworthy book I’d read that day).
The parents returned home yesterday and took the news in stride, considering. I bet my birthday money will be going toward a new Oldsmobile pivoting window.
After all that, let me end the post with these words:
'Thats_the_way_the_window_crumbles'
