WAG - And my fortune in life continues to amaze me
Long I have bragged/ranted/proclaimed the fact that stuff seems to happen when I'm around.
I'm never sure whether I'm the attractor of misadventures, or whether I'm drawn to them, but we often end up in the same place.
Of course, in some cases, I'm able to cause trouble even when I'm not around.
Tonight was the last Hall Council meeting of the year. There was supposed to be free food and an auction where one bid with Hatch Cash (money earned by showing up to meetings and helping with activities).
I hadn't missed a meeting all semester and had over $100 in Hatch Cash. I was planning to clean up well... until it was noted at the last Local Government beat meeting that I was the only one who hadn't attended a full city council meeting.
I'd gone to the pre-meeting work sessions. I'd gone to extra meetings other days of the week. Once I waited over 2 hours waiting for a closed-door session to end to attend a 1-hour meeting where the topic I was to cover didn't come up.
But still, the fundamental fact remained I hadn't gone to a complete city council meeting - regardless of the fact I had other things planned for that time.
Joy.
Anyone, in my absence I invested all my money with a friend and told her to spend it well. I'd tried to figure out what the auction items were ahead of time, but none of the people who had purchased them could recall many of them.
So off I went to the 7:00 p.m. meeting. The Missourian usually sends two people to cover the event. One leaves early to write the story while the other sticks around to make sure nothing big slips by unnoticed.
I was the one who got to stay for the whole shin-ding. It typically lasts till 10:00 p.m. Tonight, they finally dismissed at 11:04 p.m.
Here are some excerpts from my notes:
"My partner left. Now I'm alone. Wait. This isn't an equal partnership. This isn't a Joe Friday - Frank Smith relationship. Whoa... I just came to the realization that I'm Tonto."
Later: "I had to fight the urge not to say 'How, White Man.'"
After a long drawn out discussion on heavy traffic in a residential area: "Oh for the love of Pete! Just let the kids play in traffic. The smarter ones will survive and the heard will benefit from the thinning out."
"I wonder what is the proper dosage of Cream Savers to keep enough metabolized sugar in my blood stream to keep my brain cells from committing suicide.
All I know is that I need to up my current dosage."
"Lady, your words are heartfelt, eloquent, and well though out. Unfortunately, that wig on your head is so obviously a wig it's hard to take you seriously."
"9:00 Break! - and we're still on page 1 of a 4-page packet..."
"The Democratic process would go so much quicker if we didn't let the public get involved with it."
"Yep, you know the meeting is has gone on too long when the audience is reduced to the 2 signers for the hearing impaired, the talk radio guy, the Columbia Tribune reporter, the Missourian reporter, and some one unaffiliated public spectator who looks like he's about to fall asleep here."
"Currently I have 5 glyphs drawn on my arm and I have traced most of the lines of my palm. Notice how short the attention span line is."
But I think a comment from the radio guy sums it up best: "If we got out of here before 9:00, certain places would freeze. I don't mean 'over' - 'solid.'"
Meanwhile, back at the Hall Council meeting...
The heir to my "fortune" - in money that is absolutely worthless - didn't quite know what to get me. None of the auction items that they could recall intrigued me, so she was left with little guidance and a lot of money.
If you just paused and went, "Uh oh! That looks like the ingredient list for a bad combination," you're very perceptive.
Now I haven't gotten to talk to my friend directly yet, but from what I'm told, there was a major bidding war going on for a snow cone machine.
The price stalled out around $30 dollars, when my friend suddenly bid, "$100!"
In retrospect, I feel like the cliché of the old man in the movies whose upstart protégé makes trouble upon inheriting the reigns of the empire.
When I got back inside Hatch, around 11:24 because some punk beat the crap out of the emergency call light/security system at the front of Hatch again, I was contacted by a person who wanted the snow cone machine.
Before we continue: here's a fun factoid about myself. I don't like snow cones. I don't like cold foods where you're expected to bite in to them. I've always preferred to let them melt in my mouth or in the bowl.
My friend offered to trade me Remember the Titans for the snow cone maker and was surprised to find me quickly accept it. I know I'm loosing lots of Hatch Cash on the trade, but I don't mind.
Once again, I feel like the stereotypical millionaire who regains his fortune, with the help of a spunky do-gooder, and decides his protégé wasn't quite ready for that responsibility or power.
So as I said earlier, I always seem to get involved with interesting things - even when I'm not trying.
Correction: especially when I'm not trying.
Call it good luck, call it strange luck, but you don't have to worry about calling me bored.
It tis my blessing and my curse...and it continues to crack me up.
Life is good.
'happy_with_me_lot_in_life'
