The one thing I know for sure is that this is Tom Cruise’s fault.
Sigh… Let me explain…
I worked the closing shift last night. When I got off, I went up to the 6th floor to see what friends were up to. A person had gotten a DVD for her birthday - despite the fact she repeatedly stated she didn’t want ANYTHING – and they were fixing to try it out.
It took a while to hook it up, but it took more time for six people to decide upon what flick to watch.
“Okay, let’s see… We have Dead Poets Society, American Beauty, Sweet November…”
“There’s no way in hell I’m watching Sweet November.”
“American Beauty sounds good.”
“Yeah…”
“I don’t like American Beauty.”
“Okay, then…”
“Dead Poets is depressing.”
“No it isn’t. It’s a triumph of the human spirit.”
“It makes you want to seize the day!”
“But it’s sad!”
“I haven’t seen it – don’t tell me.”
“Okay, one person makes a… poor decision, but it’s still good.”
Now, imagine repeating this debate, where the votes consistently went: “Yea,” “Yea,” “NAY!!!!” One person wasn’t interested in watching dreary movies, I didn’t want to see a chick flick, and another didn’t want to see any comedies at all.
All our opinions combined to make for an interesting process. Dozens of films were proposed, and almost as quickly, shot down.
We took a break for a while and watched the part of Beauty in the Beast – while people who weren’t interested in watching all of it were searching for DVD options. It was “interesting” enough when one person could quote the three-minute introductory monologue word for word, but when it came to the first song (Belle, the Bonjour song), it was quite entertaining to discover that everyone in the room could sing along to the lyrics – including me.
Note: I blame it all on the fact that my sister filled the house with Disney music by watching the movies, playing the soundtrack cassette tapes, or the twisted combination of the two, the Disney Sing-A-Long videos. I may not always flaunt this talent, but my mind retains this uncultivated information anyway.
Second Note: Some of you may be wondering when the cops come in (or now you are). The 911 call come a bit later, but I AM about to introduce the Tom Cruise element.
When people came back to the room from their movie foraging, someone said Minority Report and we discovered it’s easier to pick a movie most people haven’t seen rather than a film seen by all.
Now, Minority Report, like most Steven Spielberg movies, is long. We’re not talking James Cameron looong (See The Abyss or, heaven forbid, Titanic), but it’s lengthy in its own right.
We finally finished the film a little bit after 2:00 a.m. The movie had a complex plot, one that actually challenged you to think about the movie (rather than simply watch all the pretty explosions), and several of us broke to the hallway to talk it over.
While discussing weather or not the movie’s title was good (“I was expecting the film to be about African Americans and Hispanics”), we noticed a peculiar character in the hallway.
Some guy was walking up and down the hallway checking numbers and the name on the doors. No one in our small group recognized him, and to say the least, something smelled fishy.
That was confirmed when he walked up to us and we were greeted by a cloud of alcohol that seemed to waft around him.
Several red flags went up at the same time. First he said he was looking for a room number, but was hesitant to give a reason why. He finally gave a name, but no other rationale (though he would later mutter something about being a cousin).
Most concerning was the fact that he was asking for a person that lived in a certain room, but he was using a name that she never went by.
It didn’t take long to do the math to realize that suspicious drunk guy + incomplete information + unstated intentions = trouble.
Being the helpful, upright citizens we were, we said we didn’t know anyone going by that name.
Cursing, he went back down the hallway and was at the end when the person he was asking for came out of another room, about 10 feet behind him.
We quickly got her attention and got her into a different room around the corner before the guy turned around and got a look at her face.
I think the guy knew something was up, because he went up and down the hallway that we’d herded the girl into, but must have figured no one was going to help him out and gave up.
I’d stuck around in the hallway to see where he went next and was surprised when he asked me “How to get to the park?”
I quickly told him I’d take him there, and proceeded to escort him out of the building. I tried to get a bit more information out of him, but he wouldn’t tell me anything. I left him in the back parking lot before sprinting up the stairs back to the 6th floor.
In retrospect, by park he probably meant the field in front of Hatch, and not the wide open spaces around the Vet School, but I don’t feel bad about accidentally leading him astray.
It was obvious we needed to alert the staff to the situation, and me and my friend Rob, who had been with me Saturday night when we were the first to report the broken blue light, founding ourselves calling the staff pager for the second time in 24 hours.
We eventually called 911 and had pleasant talks with multiple dispatchers – we were told to call back a different number.
I suppose they didn’t want to jam up the lines (“Hi, 911 – please hold.”
After several people gave statements, we were asked if we wanted to fill out a report.
I guess she gets lots of calls from people who prefer just to complain.
Anyway, we told her YES, we would like to get this on the record, “to be on the safe side,” and they sent some MUPD officers out.
As we waited for the campus cops to show up, I repeated some Jeff Foxworthy lines about his experiences with cops (“Hey officer! I thought you said you didn’t want to come back out here tonight!”).
The cops showed up, asked which way the suspect was last seen and burned rubber pulling out to look for him (which was probably the high point of that call).
Officer Ash and his partner didn’t find the “cousin,” but at least the event is on the record in case this happens again.
It made for a nutty late-night experience. I didn’t sleep much after that, but I had the best story in Sunday School today.
There has been a dorm wide warning to remember to keep doors locked toward the end of the year – and a reminder of how easy it is to get in the building. Some of us are a bit more alert, which is good for you as long as it doesn’t lead to paranoia or anything.
To make it easier for you, let me supply the three-part moral:
First: It’s nice to know you have friends watching your back.
Second: Drinking only heightens the stupidity you already have.
Last: I wouldn’t have had to deal with it if Tom Cruise hadn’t been in such a freakin’ long movie.
But the corollary to that, is that you never know where the silver lining may come from.
'Thanks_Tom'
