WAG - Blimey...
I am so tired...and there is so much to do.
But I have had a good, albeit tiring evening. I never seem to be able to focus on homework when I'm working the desk (I'm usually doing good if I'm in to it enough to get the desk stuff done adequately), so let me tell you how it's gone.
Meeting with next year's student staff was fun. We went to PANorama and did the standard everyone-getting-to-know-each-other setup.
"Where are you from?"
"What's your major?"
"Where are you living now?"
We swapped stories and jokes trying to get a feel for everyone.
I knew only one person from before: Caleb Lewis. We spent the evening joking about who would be Caleb #1 and who would be Caleb #2. We then tried to come up with nicknames for each other (Smitty, Smythe, etc. I would go into his nicknames, but many were rude and mean and most of them I couldn't repeat without laughing to hysterically to hit the correct keys on the keyboard).
At the end, we walked back to campus and crashed the room of a future student staff member who couldn't make dinner due to a test. After a stranger pounded on his door and cussed him out, the sudden appearance of a dozen people in the hallway prompted him to turn a severe shade of red.
From that scene, I had to jet back to Hatch in time to start my DA shift.
Usually Tuesday evenings are pretty slow. They're not as dead as Sunday evenings, but they're usually not too bad.
The one problem with using the term "usually," is that eventually there is deviation from the norm.
And tonight, there was much deviation.
First off, a couple minutes into my shift, a pack of roughly a dozen walked in laughing. Among them, there were several pairs of boxing gloves and a video camera.
"First rule of fight club, you can't talk about fight club," one guy quoted badly as he turned the corner.
The next foul was self-inflicted.
When I was still coming off the brain fog from speeding across campus (my mind usually switches itself off during physical exertion as a defensive device), a person asked to check out a volleyball. I rummaged through the sports equipment bin, pulled something out, and handed it to the girl.
Five minutes later, she came back with a friend who promptly informed me, "This ISN'T a volleyball."
I looked at it carefully.
"Nope... That's a soccer ball," I replied.
Score another point for ignorance.
Another ball fiasco involved a trio of guys careening down the hallway with a giant, 3-foot wide blue bouncy ball.
They didn't quite have a discernable intent with their actions; other than kicking the ball and bumping into each other.
The fanatics added an extra dimension when they reached the entryway and decided to punt the ball.
While following the ricocheting trail of the flying ball was a bit funny, I had to tell them to knock it off for fear some poor sap coming out of the dining hall would get slammed.
After that, I had a person ask for a Desk Attendant application who then called me a liar when I said the deadline had passed. She repeatedly said the deadline was the 23rd despite the fact people were hired two weeks ago. My honesty was still doubted until I showed her a printout of a memo that said the deadline was passed. Only then did she cut me some slack, or admit the truth to herself (it was hard to tell which).
As she walked away, I started singing along with Simon and Garfunkle, "We'd like to help you learn to help yourself..."
Of course, that prompted more incredulous stares, but I was getting used to that.
Still, the best moment of the night was when a person walked up to the desk, plumped down a box, and called a person on the phone saying, "Zach, your flamingos are here."
The box held a gross of 20 pink lawn flamingos for the Residence Hall Association's Random Week stunt.
This will spoil the surprise for MU readers, but the plan is to stick the flock of flamingos, with RHA tattooed on them in multiple places, out on the grass for MU students to admire and then steal.
Personally, I already have a pair of pink flamingos in my room, named Juliet and Gilligan, but those who get up early enough before the kleptos wake up will appreciate them.
Either way, hearing the words, "Zach, your flamingos are here," has to be the high point of the shift.
Things may be crazy, but at least they aren't boring.
I'm not sure if that's a good thing, but you won't hear me complaining.
Until the next time I post, that is.
'Flamingos_Get_your_flamingos_here'
