WAG - Recollections on a Rainy Day

Note: On a dreary day like this it’s easy for a writer to drift into moods of melancholy and expound on deep and thoughtful ideas that may also resemble purebred bull. Let the serious title trouble you not, nor the atypical wording of this opening paragraph – which will soon fade away like the rays of silver light – for this will be a simple retelling of today’s event emphasizing humor more than morose ponderings.

(We’ll try to cut down on needless alliteration too)

Okay. Here we go:

The temperatures hit the low 40s today around Columbia.

Lots of people complained that it was cold. Others complained about the complainers reminding them that it wasn’t October yet and that worse was to come. Those not included in the first two groups typically looked at the arguers, dismissed them with a shake of their head, and wished that they hadn’t left their winter wardrobe at home.

This was a scene often seen, repeated, and recounted throughout the day.

A minor cold front blew up and caught almost everyone off guard.

Well, it WAS in the papers, but a lot of Mizzou people have been ignoring the headlines since the KU loss. Such reminders, even of the truth (especially the truth), can be painful and remain so for a while.

This evening, bundled up in a blanket, I read, talked on the phone, and worked on homework. I didn’t make much progress in the last, though I am pledging to read a chapter in Strategic Communication before making it to bed, though some good was done in the others.

I finished reading Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman. It was a bit like a modern Alice in Wonderland about an unknown world that exists in the forgotten places beneath London. It was filled with wonderful characters (both heroes and villains were great [did you ever hear of a bad guy so twisted that he collects Ming dynasty vases – only to smash them and grind them into powder with his teeth? How wonderfully wicked]), imaginative scenes, and delightful humor. I read a chapter or two Sunday night. Yesterday I took some time and read it on the quad, but was getting so much into it I had to throw it in my closest to make sure I took time to study for an exam I took today (I did quite well, thank you).

Retrieving it this evening, I enjoyed the remaining twists, turns, betrayals, conclusion, and then the after-ending (where an obvious question that is rarely asked is raised and answered). What happens when the “Alice” character realizes that the world “beyond the looking glass” was much more appealing and exciting than the normal, logical world? I won’t say what happens next, but it all fit in quite well with the rest of the story

That was followed with talking with Jessie, where I found that most of the details are set for church tomorrow.

Recapping for those not familiar with the situation, or for those who realize how complicated it is and know they need a reminder:

Jessie, my girlfriend, is a foster kid who had been adopted by Bobby and Linda Wyatt (who were married 30 years before she divorced him for cheating on her three years ago). After a long reconciliation, the elder Wyatts are getting remarried after church service Wednesday night.

Note: I thought about leading this post with references of WEDDING TOMORROW or “So I was talking with my girlfriend about the engagement…,” but was scarred off by earlier comments by family members. Before meeting Jessie a few weeks ago, my Dad stated/asked, “Now there isn’t going to be any type of big surprises at this meeting, are there?”

After only a few months of dating (my parents visited the day of our 4-month anniversary), very few potential “surprises” came to mind and after squelching such ideas earlier I would hate for any hint of them to arise again.

They spent several hours decorating, and after several weeks of preparations, everything should be set for tomorrow (except flowers. They want them fresher than 48 hours old). For most members of the church, it was a secret until the Sunday night service. A few people knew and spread the knowledge to trustworthy people (I’ve been sitting on this one for a while), but largely it was a surprise to the church – though not totally unexpected.

Anyway, we talked until the phone went dead – a common occurrence in a house with 14 people. The phone recharger doesn’t get much of a chance to do its work.

That turned out to be for the best. Before I could return my phone to my charger, I heard the sound of an Indian war whoop soon followed by the pounding of feet. Ah yes… crazy residents.

I slowed them down, had nice talks about “running in the hallways” and “chasing friends” and “not sitting on people who don’t want to be sat on.” You know, the usual.

I don’t feel like I got a lot done this evening, but I’m happy, I have more fun memories, and I didn’t have to wax poetically about rain drops um… dropping of … leafy um… leaves.

Forget the poetry. This rambling, disjointed, flow-of-consciousness rant has come to an end.

Homework awaits me (and I bet you thought I’d forget that, Mom)!

Goodnight.

'Chapter_Five_Advertising_and_Consumer_Behavior__Wouldnt_want_to_miss_that'

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WAG - More Selected Quotes

Here's another band of comments recorded and subsequently shook out of notebook and memory to be viewed (and possibly enjoyed) by the public.

Enjoy.

[On the constant running of red lights in downtown Kansas City:]
“I’m glad I have a center seat. That means I’ll live that much longer than those of you on the outside.”

[Contemplating the situation faced by the driver who was run off the road by Bus 4, when the bus driver switched lanes without looking:]
“I wouldn’t be pissed about the cones… But I would be pissed about the barrels.”

[A short excerpt – or at least what I can recall - from the game of Red Rover conducted during the impromptu 3-hour hold-over after Bus 1 broke down:]

“Red rover, red rover, send the Fat Man right over!”
“Hold on tight….”
“This isn’t gonna be pretty…”
“Arrgggg!!!!”
[Assorted grunts, groans, and screams as the line is torn asunder.]
[Comment from girl who broke the chain; who recently recovered from a broken foot and wasn’t looking for another hospital stay:]
“There was no way I was going to hold on under THAT.”

[Said by Tuba Teacher Janet before and after she started to play:]
“I’m 30! I’m too old to be playing ‘Duck, duck, goose.’”

[When the Director of Marching Mizzou climbed out of the lead bus and stood in the middle of an intersection, in a suit, blocking traffic so that all 6 buses could get through:]
“That man is a man of many talents.”

We should have painted these buses completely sparkling gold. They’d shine into peoples’ eyes – and cause accidents.
“No wait. We’ve already caused accidents.”

[On one of the most popular t-shirt designs worn by KU fans:]
“If I see one more ‘Muck Fizzou’ shirt, I’m going to….

[Upon fans pushing their way into the band set:]
“Keep the KU fans out.”
[Followed by a multitude of mischievous grins and determined fish clenching]

[More bus trouble:]
“How can be lost on [KU] campus? Why couldn’t we have gone out the way we came?”
“Too easy. That’s what they’re expecting us to do.”

[On the multitude of hills and slopes in the landscape:]
“Do you suppose they made their campus [this way] to look less like… Kansas?”

“The itinerary says we’ll be back in Columbia by 6:30. My watch says it is 6:15 and we are currently [dropping people off] in Kansas City. These last 15 minutes are gonna go by pretty fast.”

[Repeatedly asked comment:]
“Why are we at the side of the road?”

“How the hell are we supposed to get back on the highway?”
“I say let Bus 2 do the ramming and we’ll play clean-up from there.”

[Approaching the weight station:]
“Why are we slowing down?”
“We’re getting weighed.”
“Now before we get weighed, I want you to know I ate A LOT… And they’re gonna want that [change in weight] to be explained.”

[Often asked at the gas station 30 minutes from Columbia:]
“We’re stopping here? Now? Why?"

[Upon finally hitting Columbia City limits:]
“I have never been so happy to see the Pasta House.”

[Summarizing trip expenditures:]
“I think we’ve learned the place to make budget cuts is NOT in the buses.”

[Most common response to the question, “How was your trip?” -]
“Heh heh heh heh. Where to start?”

'1_800_SAFE_BUS_That_still_cracks_me_up'

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WAG - Some Selected Quotes

It’s been a long weekend... and Sunday is only beginning.

The band road trip was chalk full of things to write about. Some good, some bad, some involving crazy bus driver antics (at least one car was run off the road and another had its front end totally rearranged), some involving duck-duck-goose and a violent game of red rover (I made someone bleed with my charge), some had to do with haunted housing (it can TO be a verb) in downtown K.C., some involving kneeing KU fans when they tried to cut through the band.

Is it bad I wished there would have been a small, quiet riot so I would have gotten to elbow a few more people?

Probably...

Anyway, throughout the trip I recorded funny comments whenever I heard something good and had pen and paper close at hand. Meaning these comments are pretty much exclusively recorded on the bus.

Enjoy.

"Oh... has is been so long that 'Forest Gump' references are no longer topical? I miss Forest Gump..."

“Dipin’ Dots: they look like mold spores, but they’re hell’a good.”

“It smells like potatoes [on the bus]. Not a good, sweet potato smell, but the [starchy] bad smell of freshly peeled potatoes.”

“Don’t throw up on your uniform!”

[After our constantly honking bus driver unleashed his rage against some high schoolers crossing the parking lot where we were practicing, we mockingly said:]
“What are you kids doing at school?”
“Yeah! Did anyone ever tell you kid’s how cool it can be to burn things?”

“New rules! Every man and woman for themselves. Burn, pillage, and rape.”
“In what order?”

“Watch out for [bus] Number Two – he’s a rammer.”

[Person semi-joking on the phone:]
“I don’t think we’ll make it home mom.”

[After running the third red light in a row.”
“We’re going to die.”
“I don’t WANT to die on a GHETTO bus.”

“Does anyone else find it ironic that the bus that wrecked that lady’s car has the 1-800-SAFE-BUS sign on the back of it?”


- More to come later. I have to go to church.
- Have a good day.

'Friggin_gypysy_buses'

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WAG - Carl shoves Phil. Phil shoves Carl.

Film at Eleven

KaZaA sues the Recording Industry.

This is hilarious.

Suit. Counter suit.

This totally cracks me up. Not only is it funny that the record company is getting a taste of its own medicine (along with slumping sales for overpriced CDs), but this case seems legitimate and isn't simply to play mind games with the industry. The same one that sued the company a few months back.

God bless the American Legal System. Motto: Remember, "Congress shall make no law regarding freedom of speech," doesn't always mean Congress shall make no law regarding freedom of speech.

Note: For those of you in Comm. Law, I'd take note. Lord knows this, Jayson Blair, and embedded troops are all current events that we'll be studying at the end of the semester.

Can you tell I've been studying for my upcoming test?

Good night. Good luck. Good riddance.

Apply whatever seems fair.

Clear and Present Danger rules need not apply.

'Choose_A_B_C_All_of_the_above_or_None_of_the_above'

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WAG - One More Reason Why I Love College

I really shouldn't be taking the time to post anything, considering how much I have to do before I leave town for the KU game Friday, but this is too good to pass up.

I heard a ruckus in the hallway. The sound of people shouting and soft popping sounds drew me out of my room (which isn't hard to do with my short attention span).

I was greeted to the site of two residents; one of which was kicking the other.

The receiver of the blows had a crudely constructed costume made out of large bubble wrap and blue painters tape.

More POPs sounded whenever another kick was landed or the girl bounced off the walls.

Laughing, she said, "I can still feel my leg!"

The friendly pummeling ended, though soft pops did echo as she went back down the hallway. All I commented was that the outfit was pretty cool, but that duct tape would probably work better.

Being the good Community Advisor I am, I offered her some tape of my own, but she politetly walked away. Snap! Crinkle! Pop!

My final comments to confused residents who arrived to late to see the scene:
I love college. You never know what you're going to see when you walk out into the hallway.

'Surrealism_is_good_for_the_soul'

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WAG - Little Bunny Fru Fru

Hopping Past the Dryers

I had to get up early this morning for a Res Life student staff/custodial department get together breakfast at 8 a.m. Monday is one of my sleep-in days, but I was sure to be up for the meal of orange juice and mini-muffins.

Exiting my room, I found a strange note on my door: There's a little rabbit in the laundry room. 9/22

Being tired, fuzzy, and a little incredulous I reread the message. The review didn’t tell me anything new, though I did come to a conclusion this wasn’t a dream.

Quickly I weighed the meaning of the message. Either a) a concerned person wished to let me know a poor bunny was trapped in the laundry room or b) someone was pulling a funky prank.

I was torn between the two options. I’d gone to bed early last night so there was ample opportunity for strange messages to be written on my board. I have had some comments written on my door. My personal favorite stupid comment was when I’d written “Out” on my door last week when my parents were visiting and residents changed it too “Out drinking” – and wanted to know if my parents had read my door.

Anyway, I went to Pershing and checked out the laundry room. The doors were propped open early – due to the meeting – so I was able to do a quick check. I walked back and forth amongst the washers, whistled (as if the rabbit would come scampering like a faithful dog), and checked the dryers before declaring the room “rabbit free.”

I mentioned the fact to my Hall Coordinator as well as other staff members, who also thought it to be surrealistic, but otherwise forgot about it.

In the evening, when headed out for another staff meeting – at the more sensible hour of 6 p.m. – I encountered two residents on the steps recounting the events of Sunday night.

They were the ones who wrote me the note. They HAD seen something small moving around the laundry room while taking a cigarette break. Taking a closer look, they could see the bunny.

The laundry room locks after 11, so they couldn’t let the rabbit out themselves. Thinking it to be important, but not vital enough for anyone to lose sleep over it, they wrote a note on my door and let it be.

Word came later that the baby bunny had gotten out okay (though I like the mental image of a rabbit darting from couch to couch, back and forth across the Pershing study area).

I was able to the tell the staff “To the rest of the story” during the meeting that night. This prompted a slew of dead rabbit jokes.

“Wouldn’t it be cute to watch it through the glass and see it bouncing around the dryer?”

Which was topped by: “Remember to throw in some dryer sheets to keep it soft!”

We are a classy bunch.

In summary, Once again, we learn the truth is stranger than fiction, that one should not underestimate a cute little furry animal’s will to survive, and that even the most crudest of comments can be topped if one is given enough time (or enough inhibitions are removed).

Class dismissed.

'Hop_Hop_Hop'

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WAG - Web Highlight Time

As I usually do when I have no time - I was out making animal balloons at a American Heart Association Fundraiser this afternoon between church services so I don't have time to have a long recount of the days events or a play-by-play commentary on the Emmys (I don't even have time to remark that following proper grammar rules it should really be the Emmies) - I spotlight a website.

This week, we're going back to an old favorite... And by that I mean a site I've only been hitting for about a year.

I was first introduced to the Sluggy Freelance comics when shopping in Kansas City at a recovery salvage place. I found two printed collections of the Sluggy online comics in the bargain bin over Thanksgiving break. I promptly dismissed them and walked out of the store with other books.

A month later, when back in the K.C. area for Christmas I scanned over the books again – this time actually reading some of the comics. I was instantly sold. The one that hooked was on the back of the second book Worship the Comic and it went something like this

I bought the two anthologies. I had to restrain myself from reading them both in one sitting to prolong the fun. It took me a while to work through the archives to be caught up with the current storyline, but there was plenty of fun material to read through.

A year or so back, they did a spoof of the First Harry Potter book called, Torg Potter and the Sorcerer’s Nuts.

It did a good job of poking friendly fun while still respecting the fundamental story (See Bus Station 2 and 4/4ths, Scary Barry’s Every Celebrity Flavored Gummy Worms [Including Peter Lorre and Helena Bonham Carter], and crazy spells like “Cotton Picken Locken Pickin”).

The series also had fun poking at the fact that Torg, the main character of the strip, has yet to have been given a last name. All the people in the wizarding world call him the Lastnameless One, whose reappearance has long been expected.

Also included in the parody was a collection of flash special features including trailer, hilarious deleted strip commentary, and interactive sorting hat. The best one a sneak preview of Torg Potter and the Chamber Pot of Secretions – including the best Dobby/Gobby line too hilarious to reveal.

Anyway, the mini-movie hinted the sequel would be long in coming – if ever at all.

That is until last Monday when regular Sluggy viewers were greeted with this scene of the Gobby character causing Torg much anguish in an attempt to keep him from returning to Hoggelryth. Follow that with an underage driver in over his head, bone-crushing welcomings, and the best joke about Lucius Malfoy’s name I’ve ever heard, and the next chapter of the parody is off to a great start.

This is a must read for devoted Sluggites, Potter heads, or other people who appreciate good, entertaining writing.

It’s one way of biding time until the next movie comes out.

'And_this_is_a_duck_with_a_M16'

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WAG - Practice Hard, Play Harder

Today was game day.

Final score was 41 to 40 - Mizzou wins in overtime.

The band did great too, though you may not hear as much about that.

I know you won't hear it from me.

I'm shooting for a full 8 hours a sleep.

I had a nice long phone conversation with Jessie AND watched Die Hard II.

The combination of friendly joking and gratuitous violence helped bring me down from the intensitity of the game.

Tomorrow, I have church, cats, and animal balloons to look forward to.

But that requires a whole different playbook.

I'll write more later... if I get around to it... maybe... sure...

I do know I'm bed-ward bound so - night.

'sloppy_wins_still_better_than_hard_fought_losses'

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WAG - And I Thought I Felt Grown Up Before...

Tonight I got to clean up after a child throwing up.

This is Parent's Weekend at Mizzou, and a resident's little brother got sick in the hallway... just outside my door...

So, as residents and their families were going up and down the hallway I was the one scrubbing disinfectant powder into the carpet and later sweeping up the coagulated mess.

I also loaned the girl my sewing kit, because she was losing a button on her jacket.

I told residents to remember me doing this when asked later in the year what I'd done to deserve free food and board.

I'm a real Renaissance Man: a person who works to provide knowledge and skill in a number of areas.

Alcohol busts ("WHEW! THAT AIN'T COLA"), interior decorating (poster making), referee ("NO SPORTS IN THE HALLWAY!"), peace keeper ("Draw Sheriff"), vomit clean-up crew ("Where'd I put those plastic gloves?"), and tailoring are just a few of the many services I provide this community.

It's amazing what responsibility will get you these days.

'Bring_on_the_next_mess'

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WAG - A Sticky Situation

Hello.

It's a sad thing when you have to consult your blog to be able to tell approximately where you went to bed.

I got through the day okay. This was a light day - classwise. I've spent a bit of time working on decorations for Family Weekend.

I'm done, but decided to take a break before putting them all up. I've pre-taped most of them. There are at least a dozen 1-page flyers, only 4 half sheets, a coulple double sheets, and about 5-wide posters (at least 3 feet long) all flipped on their back around my floor.

To fall and trip now would be disasterous.

It's weird working on these because of the politically correct tone we must strike. We're encouraged to post "Welcome friends and family" rather than "Hey Mom and Dad." Families come in many shapes and sizes and the University would hate to insult a group.

I've largely followed that rule with one exception. On one long strip of paper I wrote "Simply welcome" in the middle surrounded by every possible visitor I could think of.

Including, but not limited to: aunts, step father (accidentally twice), God parents, friends, moms, children, old teachers, grand parents, step siblings, brothers, nephews, family friends, great grand parents, dads, significant others, cousins (twice), neighbors, half brothers, sisters, foster family, nieces, step mothers, religious leaders, alumni, half sisters, uncles, guardians, and parole officers.

I brought it before a group of residents to see if they could name another. The only addition I got was "social workers." I have also since added "MUPD," "Res Life Staff" and "strangers."

If that doesn't cover everybody. I don't know what will.

Anyway, I need to put these things up before I can go to bed. Literally.

There is no room on the bed due to the protective layer of butcher paper. I couldn't even negotiate a path to the bed around the minefield of tape.

Work now sleep later.

'OUCH_removing_Welcome_sign_from_hairy_leg_not_fun'

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WAG - Brief Update

On call tonight.

First round took 2 and a half hours.

Still required to take one more spin around.

Classes late in morning with no homework so am okay.

Breathe easy Mom.

Will write more later today - maybe - we'll see.

Good night to some... Good day to others...

Either way I won't be crashing for another hour or two.

'many_halls_to_walk_before_I_sleep'

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WAG - Blink Blink

Rounds done.

Yes, I know what time it is.

Yes, I will be going to bed early today.

No, you don't have to worry about me.

Though if it will lead to a care package of chocolate chip cookies - I might not disuade that.

Yes, my priorities are screwed up now. What do you want? I'm sleep deprived - but not for long.

'ugggg'

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WAG - Another Mile-Marker Passed

Today I took another step toward independence, and in turn, got closer to becoming a man.

It’s weird that even though I’m legally considered an adult, there is a transition period that people go through in their twenties where they go from child to man-child to (hopefully) man.

Some never make it past the second step. Some won’t even make it past the first.

Nevertheless, despite the odds and the sobering fact that with each step I take I become more responsible (SHUDDER!), I am moving forward:

Today I cleaned my own toilet.

I took the cleaning supplies purchased this weekend, I scrubbed and scraped and - let’s not too in depth here – and now my private bathroom is cleaner than it was when I first got it.

Between the new air freshener, the fluffy throw rug, and the freshly cleaned toilet, I feel more like an independent man.

How do I know a simple little task like this is part of the transition to manhood? I’ve always been told the more grown-up you get, the more crap you have to deal with.

Now if you will excuse me, the overpowering smell of bleach is about to overwhelm me in my poorly ventilated room. I really should gte going befre i starrt to lose coinsciuosnesss

'ZWSu#$9#JDJ(J@QDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD'

Note from 2005: The above is meant to simulate falling asleep on the keyboard. The fact that I have to tell you what it is should tell you how good a simulation it is.

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WAG - I'm not screwed up there. I'm screwed up THERE!

AKA: Caleb takes a personality test after and up-and-down weekend in a state slightly altered than the norm (or what passes as the norm) and disputes the findings.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Okay, I hate to be disputing the answers of a personality test when I want to argue there's more disorders the test, but that's the case with this test.

I'll buy certain disorders now that I've read the key to the results.

I'm labeled a Schizotypal person due to occasional erratic behavior.

I can see Histrionic, due to me always wanting to tell a story - though I've been working very hard to listen more and not dominate everything.

I can even see part of the Narcissistic categorization due to the overlap from Histronic.

However, I fail to see how Obsessive-Compulsive wasn't flagged. I mean I organize everything even if it appears to be chaotic (I won't even go into the number of people in the last 48 hours to comment on my room's appearance).

Anyway, I'm getting more bent out of shape because the test tells me I'm only partially bent out of shape. What does that say?

Don't answer that.

'Enough_ranting_back_to_homework'

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WAG - Attention Comm. Law-ers

As promised, this is a post specifically intended to aid those taking the test today.

I apologize if you link here late, or if you were expecting a question-by-question break down. One is my fault and the fault of miscommunications.

Also for the record, I my test will be different than yours, so giving specifics won’t help. That’s why I’m working on these general suggestions.

I am simply here to give you some final tips - and maybe even the helpful sort.

Here we go...

For those of you who will have time before the test (either gaps between classes or low-maintenance classes where you could slack off for a day and not face major penalties) print off at least one practice test from Electronic Reserves - codeword Boris.

Do it WITHOUT consulting your notes. It will be a good warm up and once you are done you can go back and highlight the areas you still need to work on.

Keep a running list of areas you have trouble with, Latin terms that are tricky, or that third difference between Temporary Restraining Orders and Permanent Restraining Orders.

Time frame, ex parte, and... um... oh yeah... bond.

When taking the test, skim over the questions first. I stopped to answer quick, easy questions. I also made a tiny note of my summarized answers to certain list questions -

(Example:
King’s Court vs. Chancellor’s
Writ vs. No Writ
Jury vs. Judge
Money Reward vs. Money and/or Tailored Equity)

- but would wait to later to fill out the answers.

The test includes a multitude of answers or hints through cross-referencing topics or simple questions that ask for the same thing in two different ways.

Skimming the test helps you pace yourself, record information before it slips out, and can also help prompt more recollection.

WARNING! I’ve told some of you this already, but remember that you should know information backwards and forwards.

Don’t hope that they’ll give you the case and you’ll have to give the decision (example: “Dennis vs. U.S. was about?”) or that you’ll know the case and have to pick out the answer (example ____ case, decided in 1803, lead to the Supreme Court’s claiming power of judicial review).

I fell into that trap concerning the school laws section. All the practice questions asked it one way (Hazelwood was about __________. Tinker was about __________.) and the test was the other way. (_______ was about advocating freedom of speech during school time. ______ was about permitting freedom of speech during school time).

Know it backwards and forwards. Be able to fill in blanks, because if you’ve memorized it, you’ll be more than set when you get to the handful of multiple choice or true or false questions.

Don’t freak out. You know this stuff. You’ve been to the lectures – most of you. You’ve read the notes.

Most of it is common sense, except in areas noted otherwise. Example 1: The application of the Clear and Present Danger test in Dennis vs. U.S. [1951] AND NOT in Gitlow vs. New York [1925]. Example 2: “Laundry Lists” are okay in cases of “ethnic intimidation,” but not in cases of “fighting words.” These illogical distinctions – and others - were pointed out in class and in review and should simply be memorized.

The one question we were told in the study session has been on every test (Near vs. Minnesota [1931] and the 4 Exceptions for Prior Restraint) made another appearance.

Last, don’t fret about time. I hit a my stopwatch once I started and it took me about 50 minutes. I didn’t quite stop the watch at my finish time, but in 58 minutes of starting the test, I was walking out of Chipotle with my late lunch (of a chicken fajita burrito, if you were curious). I could have turned it in after 45, but I spent extra time trying to recall school names and add up my test.

I think I got at least a 90 percent. Out of 100 points, there were about 7 points of answers I thought were questionable or shaky and 3 I know I made up. With your extra time to study/cram/pray, you should top that.

I’ll be on my way to Kansas City, but you all enjoy yourself.

Take care, all.

I’ll see you in class on Monday.

'See_you_later_alligator'

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WAG - Open Letter

Note: It's been a long weekend. I had the intent to write a up-beat, positive recount of yesterday, but more recent developments spurred this slightly darker post.
Because I don't feel like writing much else tonight, and the fact that talking about it is helping, I present to you a re-posting of an email I sent to my boss outlining the late evening's events:


Subject: Adventures in Idiocy

Dear Marybeth,

It's Caleb.

I'm both bummed out an incredibly pissed at myself.

Due to a series of mistakes, recounted below, I totally missed the Ground Floor Meeting tonight and feel like I've thrown myself completely out of whack.

It is also with some irony that I note my use of melodramatic adjectives is getting entirely out of hand - but I blame that insight more on my Creative Writing teacher.

As the previous paragraph demonstrates, I'm going through my typical waves of mini-depression followed by bouts of gallows humor.

Without taking the luxury of going up and down the hallways and actually talking to people, I feel like I've lost respect from myself and other people on the floor.

I haven't been able to talk to Katie about it. I knocked on her door but there was no answer.

All my action thus far, besides moping is emailing Katie this and printing a copy out on my door:

//
Answer to the Question of the Day:

Where the heck were you this evening, most specifically, during the time of the ground floor meeting?

I was at church.

Answer to the second-most asked Question of the Day:

Why were you at church during that time?

I have a three-prong answer for that, ranked in order of importance:

One, I mis-memorized the time and thought the meeting was at 8:00 p.m. There’s no beating around the bush here. I made a mistake.

Two, this evening’s church service honored several people in the church including my girlfriend. This was not a service I could gracefully opt out of without facing dire consequences down the road.

Three, I have neither my own car or cell phone – bear with me, this will make sense in a moment. Since I lack a decent form of cross-town transportation, I am at the mercy of the schedule of those who do have wheels. Also, since I have no mobile way of contacting people, even if I realized I was about to be late, I had no way of reaching help outside the range of my voice – which obviously wouldn’t get to far.

Not a pretty excuse, but the truth. Between these three strikes, I had little chance of making it home on time even before I stepped up to the plate.
//

Once again notice the heavy reliance on gallows "I'm-screwed-so-let's-make-some-final-jokes-at-the-expense-of-the-executioner-before-the-axe-drops" humor in this preceding composition as well as the sentence we're currently in.

I am able to both crack a weak smile across my face AND crack a soft blow across my forehead.

I suppose this is my first serious questioning of faith concerning my position here. I had gotten to the point where I felt I'd made up for my general absence during opening week and... well this hit.

Crud*. *-used on behalf of stronger profanity my girlfriend is trying to work out of me, though admittedly, I very rarely use any of the classic "7 word" and even then the use of those has mainly been limited to times immediately following girlfriend break-ups and/or dumpings.

Anyway, I don't know if I'll drop by tonight or tomorrow before the meeting to talk about this. I know typing it out here some help - which was part of my intent. I guess I'm doing some good at self-psychiatry.

I also know this is going to be mostly resolved by getting back out into the community and working with people and avoiding the urge to crawl into a shell because I don't want to talk about what happened.

Well, it's the old, "I know the cure but it may take me a while to swallow it" situation.

Time will tell what will happen next.

Also, and this is at the bottom of my concerns in all this matter, if there is some form of punishment, written warning, write-up, etc that needs to be written up to put on file or something, tell me what time I need to drop by to ruffle through the required paperwork.

I've long been taught to end correspondence on a up-note, so please excuse this seemingly out of place wrap-up. I include this explanation so it would sound sincere and not ironically sarcastic when placed next to this meandering account.

I hope the rest of your weekend goes well, I hope you had a good time at the wedding, and may Monday greet you without too much stuff to do in your inbox,

- Caleb

P.S. Let’s all hear it for stream-of-consciousness writing. Huzah!

P.P.S. The addition of the previous sentence, including use word “Huzah” brought down the epistle’s Reading Level grade down .2 points from an 8.1 to a 7.9. And don’t ask what this P.P.S. brought it to.


Anyway, that's what went down, and that's my emotions will stay on a roller coaster ride for the foreseeable future.

I'll let you know how it all pans out.

I wish you all a good rest of your weekend to.

'A_sincere_wish_Not_a_sarcastic_one'

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WAG - Is the world blurry
or is that just the medication kicking in?

Hello friends.

First I'd like to remind the readers today I have never had a drug addiction of any sort (I may me addicted to circus peanuts, and even though I may see them as a medical necessity for good quality of life, the U.S. government has yet to classify them as such). I also never plan to pick up one even if time and money become much more boutiful than what they currently are.

Breathe easier Mom.

This week has been nutty. My computer is playing games with me. It's fun pressing save and watching Netscape go BLIP! I don't become frustrated with posting when I retype a bit, losing the feeling of spontinaity, and watching Microsoft Word go BZZ! And when Windows ME - have pity on me - itself goes nuts, well...

I would have pitched the computer out the window a long time ago if it wasn't for that pesky screen. Also the fact that when one is living on the buried side of the Cramer ground floor, a six inch fall out the window probably wouldn't be enough to exercise the demons that are currently residing in this husk of plastic and silicon.

Anyway, things remain hectic even as midnight nears.

I have a resident dancing up and down the hallway because she is both bored and filled with excess energy.

-Pause-

Sorry. I just stepped away to listen to a resident singing a Rich Mullins lullabye to two other residents.

This is a text-book example of why my floor is both unique, fun to live in, and such an interesting responsibility to handle.

Singing... dancing... There's a drummer on the floor, but his room is next to the other student staff member's room, and she's picky about getting her 8-hours of sleep, so I doubt we'll be hearing much of him. I wouldn't count out any of our guitar players though.

I've said it many times before: We are THE happening floor in Cramer.

That is our blessing, that is our curse; that is life here on the ground floor.

'And_so_it_goes'

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WAG - A New Link You Say?

Heads up.

There's a new blog link on this site to check out.

My friend Ronnie Cobb has had a website of his own for nearly a month and I finally got around to checking it out.

It's the perfect capturing and representation of his soft, droll commentary. Even if you have never met this towering giant, who goes by the handle of Band Midget because he was once in band, you can still appreciate the understated wry sense of humor.

His site is located at the left of this post under blogs, or if you're too lazy to scroll up the page you can check it out by clicking here.

You'll be glad you did.

'The_tallest_midget_I_know'

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WAG - A FIVE MINUTE TELEGRAPH - STOP

RUNNING AT TOP SPEED - STOP

MIGHT SLOW DOWN THIS EVENING - STOP

HOPE TO POST AGAIN SOON - STOP

GETTING REALLY TIRED OF COMPUTER EATING POSTS LATE AT NIGHT - STOP

APPOLOGIZE FOR BOTH BEING HUMAN AND POSSESSING A POSSED COMPUTER - STOP.

INCREASINGLY UNFUNNY TELEGRAM GIMMICK TO STOP - STOP.

'LINES_ARE_OPEN'

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WAG - Bed calling. Must answer...
But monkeys first.

I'm dog tired folks.

I've worked on some pre-writings for future posts during the few open times I had today, but found my schedule booked.

Tuedays and Thursdays are already packed, but I also stayed up late working on a short story, had a meeting to get a community newsletter started, and had zero square meels (or does a handful of chips and an orange flavored Tic-Tac count?).

I'm crashing early, but I should have more stuff tomorrow... At least I might... I'll get back to you on that.

Since I have no heartwarming, thoughtful, or laugh-provoking wrap up comment in mind, let me give you a website to checkout.

Monkey Ninjas.com is a site I was introduced to by another Cramer staff member who was working hard to distract me from doing things like doing rounds or writing reports.

The general gist of the site is wrapped up in the theme song: "First they're monkeys in the jungle, went to Japan to meet their uncle, now they run a delivery business, fighting crime as Monkey Ninjas! MONKEY NINJAS! MONKEY NINJAS! Carl and Phil are MONKEY NINJAS!"

They have three episodes thus far and should all be watched in rapid succession.

Enjoy.

'Time_for_me_to_stop_humaning_around'

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WAG - Words to Live By

Though I’ve already filled my initial quota of posters that are supposed to be in the hall, I am already getting to the point where the Fall Welcome ones will need to be phased out.

I have no specific deadline and my boss’s boss is not due to check out what we’ve done in a few short days (or if he is, we student staff members are blissfully ignorant of his impending visit). Thus I have decorations to make, but I need not go sleep deprived to get them all done.

I did that the first week when I put up decorations congratulating residents for having made it through the first day of classes. My literal mind told me I couldn’t put anything up until after midnight, or they technically wouldn’t have made it through the entire day. I had also neglected to tape candy to all the decorations, as I’d planned, so that was another factor in the timing.

Anyway, yesterday I put together a series of movie quotes life, living, and the personal mottos people use to make their way through the previous two.

I ran out of blue painters tape, the only tape approved to use on university walls, so I didn’t get to put them up last night. So if you read this now, you can get a sneak peak at the quotes before the residents do.

Enjoy:

The world is not enough… Family motto.
- James Bond, The World is Not Enough


It's all for nothing if you don't have freedom.
- Mel Gibson, Braveheart

Live moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop to look around once in a while, you could miss it.
- Matthew Broderick, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

I found out what the secret to life if: friends. Best friends.
- Jessica Tandy, Fried Green Tomatoes

The secret, I don’t know… I guess you’ve just gotta find something you love to do and then… do it for the rest of your life.
- Jason Schwartzman, Rushmore

Got a little motto, always sees me through: you be good to mama, mama’s good to you.
- Queen Latifah, Chicago

It means no worries for the rest of your days. It’s our problem-free philosophy: Hakuna Matata.
- Timon and Pumba, The Lion King

'Youve_read_the_advice_Now_go_live_your_life'

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WAG - When Did it Get to be September?

Yowser!

Between staff training, opening activities, an unexpectedly packed first week of classes (where I was on call 4 nights), and one crazy Labor Day weekend, I am only now finding the time to update.

My band director is no longer rushing and holding us late to fix problems in our field show. I don't have two or three MU events I need to attend every day (other than classes, of course). I am not staying up late to design, cut out, and post fliers and bulletin boards. It will also be 6 weeks until I have to be on call 4 times in one week again.

Now that I'm through that storm, I am focusing on revamping this site.

I haven't stopped writing things to post about, I just haven't taken the time to transfer them from the steno pad to the computer screen.

This site is approaching its one-year anniversary, longer than I thought it would last, and I plan to have worked the site back up to its peak condition (or at least to the point where it doesn't get winded jogging downhill).

I'm not sure how it will all finally turn out, but for those of you who have been disappointed by my multi-week gap in updates, rest assured that won't be happing any time again soon.

At least I hope not.

Have a good day.

'Here_we_go_again'

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