WAG - Play by Play, Character by Character
Tonight, we feature our semi-annual running commentary post.
The American Film Institute, or AFI for you acronym lovers out there, had the “100 Years… 100 Heroes and Villains. Actually, they split it half-and-half: they give a hero and then a villain, each starting with #50.
It must be fun working at the AFI institute. The main thing they do is induct movies into their Hall of Fame and restore and preserve prints of the films (to me, it sounds like they just knock out an extra copy of the movie on VHS, but I’m sure they’ll tell you it’s much more complicated than that).
Once the movie “copying” is done, it seems all they do is come up with “100 Years… 100 _Fill_in_Blank---_ list,” because they have one of these specials about once a year.
Anyway, we’re looking at a juicy list (I can get more into this than the “100 Passions” from last year). Arnold Schwarzenegger is the host, so his accent should be a hoot at the least. I’ll try to control myself and not comment on every single one.
That shouldn’t be too hard, should it?
Off the bat, the list made me pause. The Gladiator, Russell Crowe, is only the 50th. First he loses the Oscar and now this. It’s hard being famous.
Number 45 and 46: Batman and the Joker back to back. Nice. One caused the genesis of the other (in the movies, at least) and they are forever linked. It’s nice to know the powers that be (whoever they are) recognized that.
Freddy and Cruella De Vil: two cartoony masterminds. These two nightmare-provokers are known for their unnerving laughs and fascination with skinning.
Another ironic following is Lassie following Cruella. It’s obvious they’re having fun with us now; not that we mind.
The little Tramp is a natural addition to the list. Though later knighted by royalty, Charles Chaplin was the hero of the common man, for triumphing in every day life.
They recap the previously highlight characters before going to commercial break. It was an unexpected pleasure listening to the announcer read off “Freddy Krueger, from Nightmare on Elm Street” in her sophisticated, professional voice.
Same with “Count Dracula, from Dracula.”
Number 34: one of our more literate heroes Mr. Me-Tarzan You-Jane. He is the representation of two eternal struggles. First, he is the epitome of the struggle between Man vs. Nature. Second, he answers the question, “How man do you have to be to wear a loincloth?”
A surrealistic comment was Erin Brockovich talking about cheering her own character on the screen. I would think it’s a compliment to get enthralled by someone else’s telling of your story (especially when you know the ending).
“Cook Hand” Luke. When life bowls you over, you stand back up. You don’t stay down, even when it’s the easier thing to do. Now there’s a man who knew how to “Com’n’cate.”
Juror #8, from 12 Angry Men. A man who would demand proper justice for a kid no one believed in. 1 against 11 would have been impossible odds for anyone else. That and he had his own “unique” switchblade. One doesn’t trump that.
Number 27: The Martians. Be it War of the Worlds, Mars Attacks, or Mars Needs Women, we just can’t get along with our nearest planetary neighbors. It doesn’t matter who shoots first (and Earthlings are guilty of being the rowdy-rabble-starters about as often as the Martians), with the home field advantage we usually win, but it’s always a good show.
As a wanna-be-writer, Woodward and Bernstein being on the list is a treat almost as much as the most famous journalist, Clark Kent. Sure, one duo helped expose a corrupt President, but can Carl fly? Can Bob melt bullets with his eyes? That’s what I thought.
I know Thelma and Louise are heroes for being empowering women, but what is smart about driving off a cliff? I’ve yet to hear a good answer to that question and I’ve been asking it for years.
Terminator shows up twice, on both sides. The host must be proud.
Let’s not forget Spartacus – the original Gladiator. I guess I know the rationale behind Russ’s placement.
Note: I broke to call my girlfriend. If I don’t mention your favorite hero or villain, just imagine he/she/they were included in this section.
And then there’s Han Solo. Sure, Luke was the hotshot with the light saber, but I always thought the deadeye pilot with his blaster and cunning trumped the Force punk. When it comes time to save they day, Han was always the one to drop out of nowhere – and get the girl.
Granted, I don’t recall a computer screwing up any Jupiter mission in 1999, but Hal still is a frightening character. Cold, calculating, and unemotional even until the end. Never was the song, “Bicycle Built for Two,” so scary.
James Stewart playing Jefferson Smith, already has a leg up with a name like that. When Mr. Smith goes to Washington, you know he’s out to make a difference. One wishes there were more like him in real life.
Wes Craven psycho-analyzing the Queen from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is quite a trip. And to think, Angela Lansbury tops that up with “No! Don’t eat the Apple!”
It makes sense to learn Ripley (from Alien, Aliens, Aliens3, and Alien Resurrection: Even more aliens) was originally written as a man. Before she arrived, the part of “the girl” was often one to be picked off early, or saved only through the actions of a man. She was the anti-stereotypical warrior women (sorry Zena) who bested the aliens time after time (thus far, the score is Ripley: 3, Aliens: 0, and 1 Tie). We have her to thank for such movies as Tomb Raider and Charlie’s Angels. Good job… I think…
Rick Blaine, as in the owner of the bar in Casablanca, is one of the best romantic lead because he does NOT get the girl. It’s a timeless tale, as time goes by.
Anakin/Darth Vader: a good choice. Commentary on the character lacking comments from James Earl Jones poor choice.
A man who uses 3 words to introduce himself, “Bond. James Bond” of course would come in #3. In the words of Roger Moore, he was a hero would didn’t like killing, but took pride in doing it well. That and saving the world. Good for him.
Alfred Hitchcock + Norman Bates = a slightly filthy population afraid of taking a shower for fear of encountering a mother-loving Psycho.
Indiana Jones, rings in at second as a man who always wears a felt fedora and leather jacket – even when in the steaming hot jungle. He’d be my pick for #1, but that’s just me.
The number one, or arguably worst, villain is Hannibal Lecter. I’ll leave the fava bean and “Hello Clarise” jokes for people who can do the voice. I’ll leave the analysis for people who have actually read the books. Let me simply say anyone who can keep a straight face with the cautioning comment, “Now this is going to hut A LOT,” belongs at the top of the list.
The number here is Atticus Finch, defends the innocent, doomed man in To Kill a Mockingbird. A single parent, pro bono lawyer, and a man determined to seek justice for a man condemned by his “wrong” color.
What more could we ask for in our heroes? What more could we ask for ourselves.
Final Note: After thanking viewers on behalf of both sides of the coin, if Arnold is going to end the special with “Hasta la vista,” he should have had enough guts to complete the line with, “Baby.”
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