WAG - Belated Oscar Hoedown
Yeah, I realize it's Thursday.
Yes, I know most people have already had their Academy Award round-ups.
But you know, I didn't get to watch the Oscars till today, so I'm going to have a review now.
[Feel free to skip this post, if you'd like. This is more for my personal benefit, but if you keep reading, I hope you do enjoy it]
Always fast forward through the pre-show carpet gabfest. It's never as pretty as they say it will be.
Okay, first off, Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford top my creepiest couple list. It's nice to know we have a replacement for Billy-Bob Thorton and Angelina Jolie.
NOTE: I'm watching the Oscars on tape and pausing when I want to make a comment, or fast forwarding through boring things. I will strive not to repeat comments already made by the media or by friends, unless it's funny and really worth repeating.
The best animated feature Oscar has only been around for two years, and Disney has yet to win one yet. As if Walt wasn't already on spinning fast enough already.
Whoa! Even after all that grunge, Keanu can still fit in a tux. Cool.
Best Supporting Actor: the place where older, aged actors still have a fighting chance against the younger hot shots - but not this year. Hooray for Chris Cooper - MU alum (who remembered the most important rule of acceptance speeches: save the highest praise for your spouse and your parents).
Jennifer Garner and Mickey Mouse. Why do they do these gimmick things year after year? It's the same thing every time: pick a second tier actor/actress, pair them with an animal or animated character and see what happens.
Yow. After coming up with the outfits that earned her the Best Costume Design Oscar for her work in Chicago, you'd think Colleen Atwood could have saved a good dress for herself. No matter, she won her first Oscar, and that's the important thing.
I always find it a bit annoying when there are categories that aren't totally filled; especially when they are populated by B- or C-class movies (such as the "Time Machine" being put up against "Frida" in Best Makeup). It makes me want to slap together a movie, put it before the academy. I wouldn't expect to win, but I'd be happy enough to just sit back, relax, and enjoy the free seats.
Best Supporting Actress: The category where pretty girls typically trump older women - remains true this year (though I feel very sorry for Kathy Bates, who's first name is also derived from "Katherine." That must have been a very long 3-second gap between Sean's first name announcement and when Zeta's "Chicago" victory theme kicked in).
I don't care if you have Julie Andrew introducing the segment, it's hard to give class to a song and dance number montage. Only two or three didn't appear ridiculous; which is a pretty good trick considering they only had two or three seconds to look kitschy.
They explain it every year, but I don't think I'll ever get the difference between Best Sound Oscar and Best Sound Editing Oscar.
Ah, the first direct comment war of the night. There have been references to wanting peace, but this is the first time I've heard someone draw a distinct line between "us" and them. Good job for that hombre from "Y tu mama tambien."
(I could make a long discourse on how sides label themselves as if "Pro-war" actually encompasses a lot of people [there are very few people who enjoy war] The same goes for people who argue they are "Pro-America" as if the other side is unpatriotic. There are fouls on both sides. I prefer just to move on and ignore the subject - like most of the people at the Oscars)
Of course, I paused to make these comments right before Best Documentary Feature is announced. Heh heh heh…
Michael Moore, hmm… I think the Daily Show put it best. First it was a standing ovation and, "Yeah! Hooray for Michael Moore. We applaud you and your vocal political activism.
Cue inflammatory comments that really heavily on the word fictitious.
And the crowd goes schizophrenic.
Promptly followed by some applause (and several smiles) but many more boos and people asking, "What's up with this political activism stuff? This came out of nowhere."
And that's how you make a memorable Oscar moment folks.
Okay, I have no problem with "Chicago" winning so many awards. Good for them. I just have a problem with Oscar's orchestra's rendition of the theme song. I swear it turns in to straight, boring, white elevator music. There are few things more pathetic than a bunch of white people with no soul singing "All that jazz."
And now we come to the part of the evening when the big awards are handed out. The stakes are as large as some of the egos and standing ovations are sure to follow.
It's not quite as exciting when you already know who's going to win. I've had to watch the Oscars on tape for several years in a roll now, and I've never been able to keep from totally incommunicado. At least I know which tiny box to watch.
Best Actor: A category where it's anybody's game - and tonight it was Brody's turn, who had one of the best speeches of the night. Another planting a long on Halle Berry, he gave what impresses me as one of the most heartfelt, humorous, and touching performances (and give the guy credit for asking the band hold it off just a little bit).
And that's how you make an Oscar moment with class.
Alright. This is nuts. Barbara Streisand awards the Best Song Oscar to Eminem. I knew this was coming, but it still cracks me up. She even said "Whoo" before announcing the name. Of course, the outfit of the proxy acceptor was nice too.
You know, it must be hard to maintain your street cred - when people in tuxes are praising you at ritzy events.
Peter O'Toole finally gets his Oscar. Enough said.
Best Actress - This is usually the Sorry-for-not-giving-this-to-you-two-or-three- years-ago-when-you-really-deserved-it-but-you-did-good-this-year-too-Award. Nicole Kidman makes a good example. See also Julia Roberts. It the old should have won last year, but the academy was sure to catch you on the flip side.
Oscar Roll Call - As if there wasn't enough back patting already… Oh well, it's Hollywood. What else do you expect?
The writer's award follow and I've always been interested in those; for obvious reasons. I'd go more into that, but I'm upset the Nia didn't win for best "Big Fat Greek Wedding" so I'll merely move on, albeit slowly. (a movie about guys with girls in comas versus a girl with a circus for a family? Some days, I guess I don't get it)
And Martin Scorsese is burned again. Don't worry, give him another 20 years to work on a epic and he can compete again.
The Douglas father-son interaction was nice. It's always nice when the son lets the father get the good punchline.
"And the winner is… 'Chicago!'"
Steve Martin makes his final joke, dedication, and that's it. That didn't take it too long.
'Oscar_Oscar'
