Note: Court watchers can tell you eyewitness testimony is one of the most unreliable sources of evidence. I apologize now if I get some of the forthcoming wording wrong.
A simple review of psychology text books will quickly tell you how differences in perception, varied viewpoints, and general break-downs in memory can conspire to convolution the situation. Details are easily jumbled, misreported, and forgotten. False memories can be mistakenly inserted into the mix.
At the end, you can end up with multiple versions of the truth without conscious manipulation or deception.
That being said, very shortly I’m going to recount, retroactively a series of verbal exchanges that I recollect engaging in yesterday.
I had originally set aside Saturday to write and do some reading. However, I woke up to a phone call of an old journalism friend who was in the area and about eight minutes away. Was I free to do anything, was the question.
You can take the following exchanges as my answer:
“Our grandmothers are different.”
“I would hope so. This would make for an awkward reunion.”
“You know what I mean.”
After earlier checking the schedule online a change of plans occurs at the movie theatre:
“Um… It might just me, but I don’t think 'Good Night and Good Luck' is playing.”
Okay, that leaves… 'Walk the Line' or… the Harry Potter Movie.”
“Or 'Syriana,' if we still want an intellectually stimulating experience.”
Rita Skeeter makes an unctuous entrance on the movie screen:
“I don’t think we’re going to get the uplifting portrayal of journalism we were hoping for had we gotten to see the George Clooney movie.”
After relating a series of dramatic developments at school dances:
“Did you go to school at Melrose Place or something?”
We park in an unknown neighborhood:
I just made an X in the snow next to where we parked the car. That way, when we come back later and find the car is stolen, we’ll know where it was parked.”
“We’re lost.”
“The car is up the street.”
“You know where the car is parked. That doesn’t mean you know what subdivision we’re in.”
“I’d ask you what road we’re on, but we’re just passing a street sign and that totally defeats…”
“Pleasant Road!”
We go by a yard with two gutted deer hanging from a tree:
“Oh yeah. It’s doe season this week. I’d forgotten that.”
“There’s something you’d never see at my house.”
“We can’t be lost. We’re surrounded by lights in every direction.”
We successfully pull out of a snow clogged parking lot:
“Tell me the truth, you had doubts about us getting out.”
“I had… concerns…”
“Hey, I had doubts myself. Why shouldn’t you?”
After turning around and trying to retrace our route:
“Is this the road back?”
“No, we came out near a Sonic. I think we have at least one more… ‘gentlemen’s club’ to pass first.”
“There aren’t many ‘gentlemen’ in clubs like that.”
Reading a sign:
“Sugar Creek Police Department.”
Laughter about how lost we are.
Reading another sign:
“‘The Sugar Inn.’”
“I’d give you 10 to one odds that we’re not in Independence.”
“No bet.”
Reading another sign:
“‘Resistance is futile.’ Boy that seems a bit aggressive for a church sign.”
“What?”
“Resistance is futile – it was the second line of a message on that Church of Christ message board. I couldn’t read the first line, but that seems to be a bit strong.”
Explaining how we had a canine encounter:
“We turned around at a MoDot (Missouri Department on Transportation) depot and were going to ask for directions when a pack of dogs came out of nowhere.”
“We weren’t going to ask directions.”
“I was about to suggest asking directions just before the dogs arrived.”
“So the dogs were happy to see you?”
“Very happy to see us.”
“Too happy to see us.”
A mutual friend calls and interrupts our dinner:
”Guess whom I’m sitting next to.”
“Herbert Hoover” – is my suggested hint.
Woodrow Wilson… Yes, I enjoy spending time talking with dead people.”
The phone is eventually passed over and the “dead” speak:
“Hello. Do you want to play the role of Jennifer Love Hewitt, or do you want to play another game?”
“Caleb!”
“Sometimes…”
“I’m not purposely going out to hit wasp nests with a stick, though that certainly looks like what I’m doing.”
After a particularly disparaging remark at modern society:
“Sigh… I’m not actually that cynical. I just say things like that sometimes to hear myself say them. Stupid me, I actually have hope for the human race. Son of…”
Signing off:
“You probably wouldn’t recognize me. I’ve gone through so many contacts-glasses-hair-clothes changes, I barely recognize the face I’m shaving on a regular basis.”
The phone is passed:
“Yeah, you wouldn’t know it by talking over the phone, but Caleb’s up to 200 pounds.”
“Yeah, but I’m taking the weight off by smoking.”
"Don’t stop asking questions. I mean that both literally and metaphorically.”
