This fresh collection of shows, however, is going to have a very limited impact on the current Smith residence. We’re already stuck watching CBS.
With the current TV hookup we have in the apartment, only so many channels come in: CBS-13, broadcast out of Jefferson City, is the most vibrant. KOMU-NBC usually comes in with color. ABC-17 can be seen in alternating washes of colors and grays (as if Dorothy from the movie Wizard of Oz keeps jumping back and forth between Munchkinland and the tornado-transplanted farmhouse). The independently broadcast Christian station is permanently black and white and static. PBS, for some reason, only comes on in the tiny TV in the back of the apartment. You can see vague, ghostly outlines of people on Fox sometimes, but the audio is so messed up you can’t even pretend your TV set is a radio. As for other channels, the dial is set at pre-1995, for the UPN and WB aren’t found anywhere.
So, regardless of the fact that the fifth season of Gilmore Girls starts tonight, without remembering what is on CBS on Tuesday nights (all those years in college got me memorizing the cable line-up instead of the classic network options), I’d wager a decent percentage of our tube time will be dedicated to CBS.
Unfortunately, the upswing in eye viewings is not correlated to an increase in quality programming. While I like the CSIs and Monday night comedies, I’ve watched way too much Big Brother, after successfully avoiding the previous incarnations (and I’ve much respect for Julie Chen for playing “serious” journalist by day and reality TV show host by night. It’s not that I had a lot of respect prior to this, it’s just I found I could value her even less than originally estimated). Don’t ask me how many episodes of Rock Star: INXS I’ve watched; the number, however paltry, is still embarrassing.
It’s a good thing for we’re not a Nielsen family. I’m afraid to see what shows would get an extension simply because it was the best of the two or three channels that were coming in that night.
More DVDs have been popped in lately, though I don’t know how long TV-on-DVD will hold out against the original. I’ve also been reading more, but the brain sometimes cries out for mindless entertainment. That’s how professional wrestling and ice skaters still manage to draw viewers (Granted, I’m talking about different ends of the audience spectrum, but you have the realize that watching sets of people cavort back and forth [often dressed in fantastic outfits that would never be worn outside the arena] to heavily rehearsed and choreographed shows doesn’t do much to stimulate. I think watching a guy pile drive an opponent charges the brain’s electrons the same way a triple Lutz-triple toeloop-double loop does [Note: A “triple Lutz-triple toeloop-double loop” is a real ice skating term. Google it. I dare you].
Anyway, in lieu of back flips and chair tosses, I guess I’m going to be dedicating more viewing hours to CBS. I’d wish they’d hold up their end of the bargain.
If they don’t, I guess I’m going to need to purchase some more tinfoil.
