It’s now time for
The further adventures of
Dr. Frankenstein and Igor
Today’s installment: What a Day
Two bedraggled men, seemingly wrapped in rags stumbled down a muddy county road.
“What are we going to do to catch the creature today, Master?”
The not-so-good doctor, at least in the eyes of most of the world, said nothing.
Due to the crimes of him and his creation, from the lesser offense of grave robbing ranging to, most recently the monster to hurling a mayor through the stained-glass window of the local cathedral, he and his scrappy companions had been chased out of the last six villages.
“Things always go wrong when one mixes politics with religion,” he muttered to himself.
“What’s that, Master?”
“Forget it. There’s nothing to worry about Igor.”
The wrinkles on Igor’s forehead immediately disappeared as he stopped worrying, at his master’s perceived command. His mental state, often described as “All hump, no higher lobal function” by his master – in a definition that was closer to the truth even he imagined – couldn’t bear such heavy cognizant loads, so it quickly dropped any conundrum that was taxing his weary intellect. Unknowing to Frankenstein, Igor instantly reached a state of inner nirvana. Had the doctor sensed a portion of its comforting effect, he may have envied the hunchback.
Now smiling, he continued to squish along behind his leader.
“Do you still have my watch Igor? I want to know how much darkness we have.”
The two typically traveled by day, but they also had the standard practice after being violently kicked out of a hamlet, to spend a few days sleeping by day and traveling by night. It made it easier to spy lit torches.
“Umm…”
Igor began to wiggle as he pawed his pockets beneath his makeshift shroud.
“I gave it to you right before that blacksmith’s apprentice tossed me down the well, cranked me up again, and repeated the process a few times?”
“Err…”
“I asked you to take special care of that instrument. It belonged to my grandfather. I've used it on all my experiments.”
“Master… I didn’t tell you this earlier,” he said as he pulled out a misshapen goober of golden metal. The shiny husk slowly twirled on a knotted chain. Something dark and brackish was slowly dribbling of out the exposed innards.
“But Master,” Igor said before whimpering and continuing, “some of the villagers dropped me in a pig sty. They said something about ‘spending quality time with my own kind.’”
He extended the battered nugget of a timepiece to the doctor. Just as his fingers started to close around the chain, it snapped and plopped into the mud below.
The two both halted, but only Igor bent down to retrieve the device formerly known as a watch. He stood back up, to his full 3/4s height and smiled. After scraping a large clump of dirt of the faceplate he tapped on the faceplate, which sent it flying along with a newly released springs.
“To answer your original question master, its… 5 o’clock.”
“Five o’clock, Igor?” Frankenstein asked.
The hunchback reexamined the exposed face of the clock, desperately trying to remember which hand meant what. Deciding it was easier to stick with his original answer, rather than think of a new one, he nodded.
“It says 5 o’clock, Master. In the night time.”
“Around what time were we kicked out of out the village last night?
“Five o’clock, in the night time.”
“And what time is it now?”
“It reads 5 o’clock, in the night time. The same.”
Igor’s eyes looked down and crossed like they always did when he tried to remember something important.
“Hmm…” was all Igor could add to his previous statement.
Frankenstein reached up to rub his aching temples.
“I thought that was what it would read.”
Igor started to hand the battered pocket watch to his master.
“Do you want the watch now?” Igor asked.
Frankenstein waved off his eager servant.
“No, Igor. But you may keep it as a tortuous memento of yet another trying night.”
The hunchback’s eyes widened and he bent over even farther out of glee.
“Thank you ever so much, Master!”
Frankenstein ignored his traveling companion’s joy. He looked down and considered the torn sheets that made up his makeshift bandages. His left arm was in a sling and another length of cloth was tightly wound around his right wrist. The red spots that had soaked through his knee bandages seemed to have dried, signaling they were starting to heal. He looked over at his limping partner and observed the lurch was more pronounced than usual. It was hard to tell if where he was wounded for, after assisting his master in the treatment of his injuries, he simply looped a cloth around him in random orbits until he reached the end.
“We look like two lost and confused mummies.”
Igor turned and showed the doctor his usual look of confusion.
“Mummies. From Egypt? I made many studies of the process of mummification and the preservation of man before making that cursed creature.”
Like he had started to crank a wheel to a generator, a spark grew in Igor's eyes.
“I know a lot about that too,” said Igor.
Frankenstein was surprised.
“Do you really?”
“Yep,” Igor said.
“What exactly do you know about mummies and life?”
“Well, I’ve known my Mummy almost since I was born.”
Stealing a glance back at his master, Igor mistook Frankenstein’s pained silence as an invitation to continue.
“And when I asked her where I came from, she told me all babies – mans and womans – were delivered by from flying storks.”
“Did your… Mummy ever mention the stork dropping you during the course of your delivery?”
“How did you know, Master?”
Frankenstein was no longer sure which hurt more, his head or his bruised body.
“Just a guess, Igor. Just a guess.”
His eyes searched the skies and spotted a light blue line that was beginning to grow on the horizon.
“I think it’s time for us to call it a day.”
Igor peered in the same direction his master was staring.
“But it’s just starting.”
“Exactly. I think we’ve done enough damage to ourselves today, Igor. Let the creation have a day free from us chasing. Right now our energies are best spent pursuing a recuperative sleep, rather than chasing that infernal project.”
Frankenstein turned and walked into the thick woods to the left of the path. Igor followed after the sloshing sounds of his footsteps.
“You rest, Master. I’ll stay up and keep watch.”
Already halfway to the ground and the pile of leaves that would be his bed, Frankenstein didn’t care to argue.
“As you wish, Igor.”
“What time should I wake you up tonight, Master?”
With a final sparkle in his eye before he fell asleep, Frankenstein said, “Wake me when the sun goes down a 5 o’clock, in the night time.”
'Isn_t__it__5__O_clock__in__the__night__time__already'
