Today CNN.com reported that a couple from Maine decided to make a “political statement” with their luggage about airport security.
Anyone who has had to travel by plane has seen warnings warning one not to joke about bombs, concealed weapons, or hijackings. Penalties of severe fines or imprisonment are threatened (and the heavily implied impression that one may be shot; what a punchline) and one look at the stressed, weapon totting security found at the airport leads one to believe they’re quite willing to follow through with those threats.
Of course, in that high-tension environment, one can be extremely tempted to have fun with the system.
When asked security questions like “Did you pack your own bags,” “Have you let the bags out of your sight,” etc, one is tempted to give funny or whimsical responses.
“Actually, I wasn’t gonna mention this, buy a Pakistani man stopped me and paid me five bucks to repack my bags for me as long as I promised not to peek…”
In a book written by the offbeat magicians Penn and Teller, there was a section on having fun with airport security. Since one is required to turn on devices like laptops or other select electronic devices to prove they’re real, they suggested having a screen saver that read:
ARMING MECHANISM TRIGGERED…
ARMING…
ARMING…
ARMED…STARTING COUNTDOWN…
20:00
19:59
You get the idea.
Another gag I recall was one of my favorite moments in the movie "Airplane" through roughly went:
“Hey, isn’t that our friend Jack?”
“Yeah, it is… Hi Jack!”
Jack waves and is promptly pounced on and dragged off by airport security.
The last time I traveled by plane, I was struck by the “play with authority” mindset.
While my mother repeated told me to “Shut up!” I quietly whispered comments about “mentioning our bombs,” or at least “declaring the cocaine we were smuggling” right before we went through one of the x-ray stations.
In my opinion, mocking centers of authority or criticizing senseless rules is simply a part of human nature.
The couple referred to a while back, however, took it a bit too far.
According to the previously mentioned article, Paul Donahue and Teresa Marie Wood, a couple from Maine, cobbled together batteries, wires, an electrical power strip, and a snow boot to look suspiciously like a bomb (I’m sure this must have looked lovely on the x-ray screen).
Airport officials, of course, red flagged the bag. An investigation soon found the shoe to be harmless and was coupled with a note that read, “To the uniformed puppet opening this bag -- congratulations. You've just brought this once free nation one step closer to becoming a fascist police state."
My first thought is, “That’s good, insult the people with the guns.”
That’s promptly followed by, “What a ridiculous way to try to make a point.”
Officials concurred, charging the couple with making a fake bomb. A spokesman went on to say, “"This is like pulling a fire alarm in a theater and watching what happens.”
There’s a difference between rationally debating a subject, and pulling a stupid stunt like this. A person shouldn’t call out “abandon ship” to get them to listen to their lecture about defects in the system.
There are problems with the system. That is admitted. They’re working on it.
At this point, we also don’t have anything better.
The solution required to protect America from the threats it faces today won’t be found in closing or borders or by throwing open the gates; it’s in an undiscovered line located somewhere in between.
We know we haven’t found it yet, but we’re still looking for it.
I don’t agree with giving up liberty for protection, but I don’t believe current airport security measures do that, and pulling a juvenile prank in a San Jose Airport isn’t going to help the situation either.
Many people have thought about pulling a wacky stunt while going through security, but most of them heed common sense and wisely choose not to follow through.
Let’s hope for smarter travelers in the future…and a pony, and a mansion, and a space shuttle, and world peace.
Hey, at least we can dream…
