WAG - An Application for Power
Sitting at the desk during the first of three closing shifts in a row (I have a busy weekend and need the hours in the day open), I was intrigued by an envelop at the back of the desk.
In it was the applications for Hall Council Executive Board. That's the group of people made up of people returning to Hatch who run the dorm government and help get things done.
Even though my residence will be outside Hatch's walls next year, I thought I still might fill out a form - just in case.
All information will be made available to the public except for room #, phone #, and e-mail adress.
Name: Caleb Michael Smith
e-mail address: cmszp5@mizzou.edu
or DaemonKing_82@hotmail.com
Room #: Hatch 508 (this year), Cramer 127 (next year)
Phone: 1-900-771-1747
Major: English, Journalism/B.S.
Year in school: 2nd or 3rd - it's hard to remember with all the
Position running for (circle one): President Vice President Secretary (ALL ARE CIRCLED)
- Actually, I'd prefer dictator for life, but I can work up to that.
How have you been involved in Hatch this year?
Have I been involved? Are bears Catholic? Does the Pope...you know... in the woods? Have I been involved... please! For all practical purposes, I am Hatch Hall. I am all over this residence hall (and parts of Schurz next door too).
How else have you been involved?
I would love to list my numerous and extensive list of accomplishments and activities I have masterminded, but to do so I would have to abandon my defense of pleading the Fifth Amendment, and at this time, my lawyer strongly advises against it. Stay tuned to CourtTV for updates.
Why are you interested in this position?
From my seat of power in Cramer, I'm interested in setting up a puppet-state. My hand-selected minions will carry out my every whim and request without question. From my "reign in exile," I plan to funnel Hatch funds into my financial "war chest" I plan to use for my bid for global domination.
How would you be an asset to the Council?
Four reasons:
1) I strike fear and terror into those who know of my vengence.
2) Those that defy me do so at their peril.
3) Fools who cross me, and that I allow to live, are hesistant to act so foolishly again.
4) And I'm a People Person. :) (Imagine the smiley face rotated 90 degrees)
We'll that's my bid.
I think I have better odds than Ross Perot (but that's not saying much).
'Smith_for_Global_Dictator'
