Starting time is 9:39 PM
The calm before the storm…
In one week’s time I’ll be back at Mizzou.
Part of that is comforting. Part of that is a bit depressing.
My personal definition of home, my personal impression of what home is for me, has always been somewhat jilted due to the number of moves I made when I was younger.
I’ve always reluctant to use the term “home.” I talk about “Going back to Sullivan,” “Catching back up with the family” and other euphemisms for returning “home.”
Thinking like this has sometimes led me to feel like an outsider, an alien, but that isn’t always bad.
It’s been said that the goal of everyone who goes to school in Sullivan has the goal to get out of the town. This is said only partially in jest (though some people never look beyond the local Wal-Mart, McDonalds, or packing plant).
Many will never escape, but I just knew that would never happen to me.
My parents added to this gut feeling early on. My mother often commented, with only a slight hint of sarcasm, that “Sullivan is a nice place. Don’t live here later in life.”
I know my parents have plans to move elsewhere later in life (and on two occasions since my graduation, nearly did so) and I know Sullivan doesn’t look like it will fit in my future.
Nevertheless, there is something a bit sad about leaving my family and heading back to school. I realize that I’ll only have opportunities like this for only a few more years.
Adults love to warn college kids that their days are limited and “THEY SHOULD ENJOY THEM WHILE THEY CAN!”
You know the lecture.
Anyway I realize the last traces of the childhood/adolescence phase are coming to an end (many people retain characteristics of these phases, but the time for which they are still acceptable is coming to a close [more and more 30 year olds are living at home, but it’s not a desirable option]).
An exciting and frightening process.
Since my Senior year, I’ve often used the punchline: “Crap! We’re growing up!”
Soon it may be “Crap! We’re grown up!”
Note from 2005: I can still use that old line for a little bit longer.
I am looking forward to catching up with friends at MU. I’m a bit tired of being the only one up at 2:00 AM. Leftovers (which I never have in college) are becoming more and more trying. And it’s been weeks since I had a midnight snack at Waffle House.
I will be ready to go back to Columbia.
But in the meantime, I think I’ll hold on to the time I still have with my family for as long as I can.
At least for another week.
End time: 10:26 PM
Posting Time: Lord knows… recheck the line at the top.
I pray you all have a good day.
