This isn't a hyperbole. I'm serious!
Let me explain...
In order to promote a "better sense of community" in the Hatch Honors Floors, a "friendly" game was instituted: Assasins.
Everyone is given a slip of a paper and a murder weapon (a green sheet of paper to be folded into an airplane) and told "Have at it boys."
I was out of the dorm most of the day due to an shooting Man-On-The-Spot Scenes for JC Rocks, a late afternoon Ethics Lecture, and Church. I arrived back in Hatch in the middle of a battle zone.
An unofficial war has broken out between 5th and 6th (to see which floor is wiped out first). Little did I know the 6th floor girl with my name had already been axed by the guy who lives two doors down from me.
You can imagine what happened next...
He snuck up behind me and "fired". He scored a potential "mortal" wound (the death shot must be a head shot) that would have counted if I didn't hit him with the same paper airplane within so many seconds.
Little did he know that my working with church kids has kept me in good shape when it comes to sprints. In Sprint #13, or something, I redeemed my life.
I am tired, frantic, and extremely paranoid. Any one who has seen me right after I've read a conspiracy theory book, or when I'm in some other neurotic state know have an idea how freaky I'm acting.
It may not have been so bad if John hadn't tried two more attempts since the first. I spotted him from 10 meters away sixth floor, where I'd sought refuge, on the second attempt. On the third, a large "Death Squad" came up from 5th floor (you know, safety in numbers). Knowing who may killer was, I let the majority of the crowd slip past me. Then I saw John's evil grin just a few feet away.
The following memories is a blur of me darting through about a dozen people, from my own floor, sprinting the length of the hallway, and doing a kick/plant/turn to see if I'd killed anyone myself in my escape attempt.
No injuries...It's all cool.
My question is HOW IS THIS SUPPOSSED TO BE A FREAKIN' SOCIAL ACTIVITY? I think the Romans were less barbaric when they fed slaves to the tigers. At least you'd know who was for you and who's against you. In Assasins, you don't have that luxury.
If a stranger appears on the floor, everyone notices. The cop-outs were not up for this kind of psychological warfare have already forfeited and taken their paper bullet.
In a way, I envy them, but it's never been in my nature to give up (even when I should). I told my roomate it's the perfect example of "Fight or Flight." If this was a team competition, I'd be on the front lines, but since this is Man vs. the world, I'm aiming to be a survivor, not a warrior.
It's gonna be a fun weekend.
Excuse me now. I need to finish tying all the bed sheets together for my cloth escape ladder. For those of you who don't remember details like this: I live on the 5th floor...
It's gonna be a long night...
